tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66649456949353694702024-02-20T03:29:14.033-06:00Domestic Violence: A National EpidemicDomestic violence is a subject we must learn more about and how the violence impacts peoples' lives. Domestic violence is all around us - in our neighborhoods, communities, and where we work.Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-9874197560548920582017-01-26T11:19:00.000-06:002017-01-26T10:02:44.608-06:00Domestic Violence/Breast Cancer Awareness Both Need Attention<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">October is Domestic Violence & Breast Cancer Awareness Month</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Have you ever watched a football game and thought there was something wrong with your HD TV, when
everything from the players' shoes to the cheerleaders' uniforms
turned pink?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The NFL has agreed to work with the American Cancer Society during the month of October to support breast cancer awareness and education. It's sad that the NFL never wears a "purple" ribbon to support domestic violence awareness, because the
month of October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Before you get so excited about what
the NFL is doing to end breast cancer, please read <a href="https://sports.vice.com/en_us/article/the-nfls-pink-october-does-not-raise-money-for-cancer-research" target="_blank">"The NFL's Pink October Does Not Raise Money for Cancer Research"</a> by Smriti
Sinha. Matt Levin makes the NFL's support of
breast cancer awareness a little clearer in his <a href="http://www.chron.com/life/healthzone/article/Here-s-why-the-NFL-s-annual-pink-campaign-does-6552074.php" target="_blank">article in the Houston Chronicle</a>, where he states:
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"The issue with football’s
self-congratulatory awareness month goes beyond pink pom-poms, pink
penalty flags and pink cleats. Hardly any of the money raised during
this month even reaches the American Cancer Society. But the
criticism – many from breast cancer survivors – hasn't phased the
NFL or many of its partners. "</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
After looking at some of the facts,
it's hard to understand why large corporations like the NFL choose to
support breast cancer awareness and refuse to even talk about
domestic violence - an epidemic that has devastating effects on twice
as many women.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Breast cancer statistics</h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
According to the non-profit organization
<a href="http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/understand_bc/statistics" target="_blank">breastcancer. org</a> -
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"About 1 in 8 U.S. women (about
12%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her
lifetime."</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Statistics from the <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/" target="_blank">Centers for DiseaseControl (CDC)</a> for 2012 indicate that 41,150 women and 405 men in the
United States died from breast cancer.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Domestic violence statistics</h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
According to the <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics" target="_blank">National CoalitionAgainst Domestic Violence</a> -
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have
been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate
partner within their lifetime."</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Alanna Vagianos, in her <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html" target="_blank">recent article for the Huffington Post</a>, made an alarming comparison between the
deaths in the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and the number of deaths
from domestic violence. Here's what she reported:
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"The number of American troops killed in
Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488.
The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male
partners during that time was 11,766.
That's nearly double the amount of casualties lost during
war."
</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
She went on to report that there are
<b>three women murdered each day </b>in the United States by a current or
former male partner.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Economic impact of breast cancer</h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
An article by <a href="http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/breast-cancers-costly-side-effect-long-term-unemployment-n90016" target="_blank">Judy Silverman, Erika Edwards and Stacey Naggiar at NBC News</a> states:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"Two years after they were
diagnosed, 30 percent of the women who got chemo were unemployed,
compared to 14 percent of the women who did not. "</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The study <a href="http://www.cancer.org.au/content/pdf/AboutCancer/support/workingwithcancer_sect2.pdf" target="_blank">"Working With Cancer"</a>
conducted by the United Kingdom, United States, and Australia,
states that between 10% and 38% of employees do not return to work following
treatment for cancer. This study went on to conclude that
<i>"Employees who are not offered alternative working arrangements
during and following cancer treatment may be up to 15 times more
likely to experience significant financial difficulties."</i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Economic impact of domestic violence</h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
According to <a href="http://employersagainstdomesticviolence.org/effects-on-workplace/workplace-dv-stats/" target="_blank">Employers Against DomesticViolence</a>, domestic violence affects productivity and increases
absenteeism. Not only do the abuse victims miss
work, but the batterers may also be less productive due to
incarceration or legal proceedings resulting from domestic violence.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
According to an article by <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertpearl/2013/12/05/domestic-violence-the-secret-killer-that-costs-8-3-billion-annually/" target="_blank">Dr. Robert Pearl for Forbes</a>, </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"Each year, an estimated 8 million days of
paid work is lost in the U.S. because of domestic violence."</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Dr. Peal goes on to say that domestic violence costs $5.8 billion in
higher medical costs and $2.5 billion in lost productivity each year
in the U. S.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Domestic violence needs more attention</h3>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</h3>
<h3 style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Yes, we certainly want to find a cure
for breast cancer. When large corporations like the NFL wear pink,
there could be no better campaign for public awareness and education,
but someone has to fund research to finally destroy breast cancer.
Who will provide the money for adequate research?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<a href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/10/how-breast-cancer-won-the-battle-for-october.html#" target="_blank">Ann Friedman</a> put it best in her article
for NY Magazine -</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"It’s not outrageous to think
that, with a little bit of corporate backing, the color purple could
become a shorthand for “domestic violence is not okay” — and
that such a campaign could make a massive difference in saving
women’s lives. It is probably, however, a bit outrageous to think
that such a campaign is possible in October. This month is already
spoken for. "</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
When we choose to ignore the domestic
violence problem, we are basically saying that it is just a personal
problem and hopefully it will just go away. Well, it won't just go
away! Does it make sense to you for us to ignore an epidemic that
allows 1 out of 3 women to be beaten or emotionally abused in their
own homes, while their children watch?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b>Will you wear purple for those women
and children who live each day of their lives in fear?</b> If so, please
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/get-involved.html">support domestic violence awareness</a> and pass this on to someone you
know. Thanks.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.cafepress.com/kenstshirtsafari/12851501" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.cafepress.com/kenstshirtsafari/12851501" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXG8nN7xEPG3CAZWrek_vcmkWJwdGY_F4aAHLs6XWeFD49PSjt8b6OSdDb0xn-9ny_Eb5fEshXkfV6YxRzIvkwx8_LbrF-xbdkoXTn7MPkEItTEBZ0izEruGpmz1hWdqRMob3Yw9MIdG2u/s1600/DV-Oct-blog.png" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-89744152135561188472015-04-14T12:18:00.001-05:002015-04-14T12:51:27.350-05:00Domestic Violence Hasn't Stopped, So What Are We Doing Wrong?<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRUzc8OC_C-QF-w1QNsnIiUWMbk1tkABvwqA6F8nxAEZvMR_tYilO3Fn5adLfAlnmzClWNP-ntH7J_YZ6B8m2bdycdXBSHRtVRANzd5jIAPxQtpnIqBQvfGBBfNv0LWhigO3MGQjDpsvN8/s1600/dv-doing-wrong-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="72% of all murder/suicides involve domestic violence" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRUzc8OC_C-QF-w1QNsnIiUWMbk1tkABvwqA6F8nxAEZvMR_tYilO3Fn5adLfAlnmzClWNP-ntH7J_YZ6B8m2bdycdXBSHRtVRANzd5jIAPxQtpnIqBQvfGBBfNv0LWhigO3MGQjDpsvN8/s1600/dv-doing-wrong-01.jpg" title="" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I find it somewhat amazing that many of
the individual state coalitions against domestic violence have
similar missions to end domestic violence and assault. For example,
the <a href="http://www.acadv.org/index.html" target="_blank">Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a>, states that its
mission is to :</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>"Prevent domestic violence against
women by exposing its root causes. Eliminate the re-victimization of
domestic violence victims by individuals, organizations, and society
through education and collaboration. "</i></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The irony here is that the <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/domestic-violence-al.html" target="_blank">AlabamaCoalition</a> was established in 1978, over 37 years ago. In 2000, the
governor of Alabama signed a new law making domestic violence a
separate crime and stiffening the penalties for those who repeatedly
abuse their families. The new law clearly says that abuse in the
home is a punishable crime in the state of Alabama.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, with <b>37 years of dedicated work </b>to
end domestic violence and with <b>new laws that address this specific
crime</b>, why hasn't domestic violence stopped in Alabama? <b>What are we
all doing wrong?</b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<h3>
<a name='more'></a></h3>
<h3>
Do states really understand the
domestic violence problem?</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
A large segment of the general public
seems to <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-involves-excuses.html" target="_blank">offer excuses for domestic violence</a>. Some feel that
domestic violence is caused by alcohol, drugs, stress, or anger.
Others think the victim did something to cause the abuser to treat
them that way. People get stressed and angry every day, but real
men don't batter and abuse their spouse and children.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Most people seem to focus on the
physical abuse associated with domestic violence. It is the <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/domestic-violence-isnt-always-physical.html" target="_blank">verbal and emotional abuse</a> that should get our complete attention. Many
abusers will totally isolate their victims from friends and family.
They will manipulate their victims by telling them to do something
sexual or even illegal if they "really loved them".
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
In other situations, the abuser will
use economic pressures to maintain total control. In many cases, the
abuser won't allow his victim to work outside the home or will
actually give them an allowance for spending. At other times, the
abuser will ask for a receipt to show how much was spent at the
store. This controlling behavior is all about power and control.
Economic abuse must be seen as a red flag for other abusive behavior
yet to come.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Domestic violence is the most under
reported crime</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
According to an <a href="http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/domestic-violence-33813.html" target="_blank">article at NOLO</a>, many
domestic violence victims hope the abuse was an isolated incident
that won't happen again and choose not to report it to law
enforcement. They may also be afraid that reporting the abuse might
only drive the attacker to further violence.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
According to <a href="http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/fvs02.pdf" target="_blank">Family ViolenceStatistics, published by the U. S. Department of Justice,</a> the most
common reason cited for not reporting family violence was that the
incident was a "private or personal matter". For victims who are
dependent on the abuser's income, the violence may not be reported
for fear of losing financial support.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Statistics from the U. S. Department of Justice indicate that
among the 2.1 million incidents of domestic violence reported to
police between 1998 and 2002, only 36% resulted in an arrest. In
many cases the victims have refused to testify against their abusers.
The combination of failing to report and the refusal to cooperate
makes domestic violence one of the hardest crimes to successfully
prosecute.
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Some states ask the wrong questions</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
A common question surrounding domestic
violence is "Why does she stay?" The right question that
must be asked and answered is "Why does he abuse the one he is
supposed to love?" Domestic violence will never stop until
every person in every state realizes the violence is a deliberate
pattern of abusive tactics used by one partner to obtain and maintain
power and control over the other person. We must stop placing blame
on the victims and hold the abusers accountable for their actions.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Removing domestic violence from a free
society will depend upon national, community and individual efforts.
The end of the tragedy can only begin with a clear understanding and
awareness of the domestic violence problem. Domestic violence must
never be considered acceptable or a "natural" part of
family life. Domestic violence will only end when everyone
understands it and responds to it as the crime it is. It is never a
private matter.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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worthwhile cause to help promote education and public awareness on
the subject of domestic violence, <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/new-endings.html" target="_blank">please join BWC Marketing in this effort</a>.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqcn_kX7v5akCZmSrX08R1QGhABxDVFWBg3xKIWDxpzLvO_0Wt8K_GKz8pqzwqc3Xy2JT6FS-dFrP830GHpYFqF_UIS4DZEJoJ8JLKnmAi-hkFJJyh8xJTTahWsgx1NYAe5PtMthQqepDt/s1600/new-endings-004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqcn_kX7v5akCZmSrX08R1QGhABxDVFWBg3xKIWDxpzLvO_0Wt8K_GKz8pqzwqc3Xy2JT6FS-dFrP830GHpYFqF_UIS4DZEJoJ8JLKnmAi-hkFJJyh8xJTTahWsgx1NYAe5PtMthQqepDt/s1600/new-endings-004.jpg" /></a></div>
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</center>
<center>
<i><span style="font-size: large;">If you would like to support a worthwhile cause to help promote education and public awareness on the subject of domestic violence, <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/new-endings.html">please join BWC Marketing in this effort</a>. </span></i></center>
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Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-8687895451389719782015-02-16T11:58:00.001-06:002015-02-16T12:05:08.234-06:00Domestic violence: Power and Control [Infographic]<iframe src="//www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/30455579" width="477" height="510" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" style="border:1px solid #CCC; border-width:1px; margin-bottom:5px; max-width: 100%;" allowfullscreen> </iframe> <div style="margin-bottom:5px"> <strong> <a href="//www.slideshare.net/KenBradford2/domestic-violencepowerandcontrol" title="Domestic violence: It's All About Power and Control" target="_blank">Domestic violence: It's All About Power and Control</a> </strong> from <strong><a href="//www.slideshare.net/KenBradford2" target="_blank">Ken Bradford</a></strong> </div>
<br />
<br />
If you are a small business owner and aren't currently supporting any particular
cause or campaign, why not join <a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/" target="_blank">BWC Marketing</a> in supporting public awareness of the
domestic violence problem?
Domestic violence is all around us. It's in our neighborhoods and the places we work. It's not a private matter and it doesn't happen to just poor people. The only way we can help stop it is to talk about it. I would like to hear what you have to say. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html"><img align="default" alt="How domestic violence affects children" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-children.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html"><img align="default" alt="Personal perspective of domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-reflections.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Myths and truths." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-myths.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html">How domestic violence affects children</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html">Personal perspective of domestic violence</a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html">Domestic violence: Myths/Truths</a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-64045633334072928442015-02-16T11:25:00.001-06:002015-02-16T11:38:28.968-06:00Domestic Violence: Understand the Cycle of Violence [Infographic]<iframe src="//www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/30430713" width="477" height="510" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" style="border:1px solid #CCC; border-width:1px; margin-bottom:5px; max-width: 100%;" allowfullscreen> </iframe> <div style="margin-bottom:5px"> <strong> <a href="//www.slideshare.net/KenBradford2/domestic-violence-understand-the-cycle-of-violence" title="Domestic violence: Understand the cycle of violence" target="_blank">Domestic violence: Understand the cycle of violence</a> </strong> from <strong><a href="//www.slideshare.net/KenBradford2" target="_blank">Ken Bradford</a></strong> </div>
<br />
<br />
If you are a small business owner and aren't currently supporting any particular
cause or campaign, why not join <a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/" target="_blank">BWC Marketing</a> in supporting public awareness of the
domestic violence problem?
Domestic violence is all around us. It's in our neighborhoods and the places we work. It's not a private matter and it doesn't happen to just poor people. The only way we can help stop it is to talk about it. I would like to hear what you have to say. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-understanding-warning.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Understanding warning signs" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-warning-signs.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://spiritual-living-lessons.blogspot.com/p/bible-says-about-domestic-violence.html" target="_blank"><img align="default" alt="What the Bible says about domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-bible.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-victims-what-can-you.html"><img align="default" alt="What can you do about domestic violence?" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-things-business-can-do.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-understanding-warning.html">Domestic violence: Understanding warning signs</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://spiritual-living-lessons.blogspot.com/p/bible-says-about-domestic-violence.html" target="_blank">What does the Bible say about domestic violence? </a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-victims-what-can-you.html">Domestic violence: What can you do? </a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-9732486614136667282015-02-16T09:30:00.000-06:002016-12-02T12:14:48.558-06:00Personal Perspective Of Domestic Violence<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk6VZEtIkRKtpDHWPmVuZLIGeGU9fU0hScXmEJlDABNOI6wZ78PmxkyxtQ3udvS7rVktlfXWGB5KfZyprQrRHUZxI5Ecw3qTTK9Si3AD0dGM6Y2usKU_1OOyQ7O1kbhvrYPGPdAdzWRyLX/s1600/domestic-violence-private-matter.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence harms women and children" border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk6VZEtIkRKtpDHWPmVuZLIGeGU9fU0hScXmEJlDABNOI6wZ78PmxkyxtQ3udvS7rVktlfXWGB5KfZyprQrRHUZxI5Ecw3qTTK9Si3AD0dGM6Y2usKU_1OOyQ7O1kbhvrYPGPdAdzWRyLX/s1600/domestic-violence-private-matter.gif" title="Domestic violence hurts all of us" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Domestic violence is NEVER a private matter!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The tragedy of domestic violence became very personal to me when I
was asked to help a very close friend. My cell phone ringing woke me up
at 11:00 p.m. that Friday night and as I looked at the number, I had no
idea who would be calling so late. I recognized the voice; it was Sandy,
a girl I had known for the past 10 years, but hadn't seen or heard from
in the past three years.<br />
<br />
She was upset and crying and she said, <b>"Can you help me?"</b><br />
<br />
Being half in and half out of reality, I could only ask, "What's wrong?"<br />
<br />
She said, <b>"He's at the neighbor's house drinking and I'm afraid he will come home and beat me again."</b><br />
<br />
The
only words that rang out to me were "beat" and "again". Sandy asked if I
could come get her. I drove some 50 miles to meet her in a K-Mart
parking lot, because I had told her that I could not come to the house.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
I
had heard about domestic violence, but all I knew was that it existed
and not very much of anything else. As I made that drive, I kept asking
myself, "OK, now that you have made this decision to go get her, what do
you do next?"<br />
<br />
After circling the K-Mart parking lot several
times, I finally noticed Sandy sitting in this beat up pick up truck.
The windshield was cracked from one side to the other, the paint was
peeling off everywhere, the front end was all bashed in and the hood was
tied down with a rope. As Sandy got out of that truck, I could see that
her right eye was swollen and she was still crying.<br />
<br />
On the ride
back to my apartment, stories of physical, sexual and emotional abuse
and other acts of violence began to be revealed to me. Sandy would at
times break down and say, "He told me that he loves me, so why does he
treat me this way?"<br />
<br />
I learned that she was not married to this
guy, only living with him. There have been very few times in my adult
lifetime where I have been caught at a loss for words, but this was
definitely one of those occasions.<br />
<br />
We spent the rest of the night
and into the early hours of Saturday morning sitting on my couch in my
apartment, Sandy talking, while I just listened.<br />
<br />
When it seemed appropriate for me to speak, I asked the usual questions like, "Why do you continue to stay in that situation?" and "Why don't you call the police?"<br />
<br />
I have since learned that both of these questions were the wrong ones and I will attempt to explain why later.<br />
<br />
Sometime in the late afternoon, Sandy made the comment, "I need to go back."<br />
<br />
My intelligent response was "What? You really want to go back to that scum?"<br />
<br />
She said, "Yes, maybe if I try not to do things to get him upset, he'll treat me better."<br />
<br />
I made the 50 mile drive back and dropped her off at her beat up truck in the parking lot and I came back home.<br />
<br />
Sometime
around 9:00 p.m. that Saturday night, my cell phone rang again and it
was Sandy. She seemed to be more upset than the first time she had
called. Through her sobbing, I could hear, "He just beat me again and I
just can't take it anymore!"<br />
<br />
I asked her where he was and she told
me that he had left the house. I asked her if she could get back to
that K-Mart parking lot and she said she could. I drove that 50 mile
drive once again, only this time when I arrived, she had a lot of bags
and clothes in that truck. We packed what seemed to be all of her things
in my truck and drove back to my apartment. I continued to tell her
what a bad person he was and how she deserved much better and that I
hoped she was leaving him for good this time.<br />
<br />
While Sandy sat in
my apartment, she was always crying and upset. Her cell phone continued
to "beep" with text message after text message from this guy. She showed
me one of those messages. It said,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"I have the shotgun waiting at the
door and I will kill the first person who walks through."</blockquote>
After
this guy had beaten her and threatened to kill her, she continued to cry
and on that Sunday afternoon, she actually asked me to take her back to
her truck, so I did.<br />
<br />
This all happened several years ago and I
have not heard from Sandy since that time. Having been face-to-face with
domestic violence actually left me with more questions than answers and
as a result, domestic violence became a personal project.<br />
<br />
I began
to read every article I could find on the subject of domestic violence
and I sent e-mails to every expert on the subject I could find. It
didn't take very long for me to realize that domestic violence is at epidemic levels
all across the United States and I also learned that just about
everything I did to help a friend in a desperate situation was wrong.<br />
<br />
In
talking with the Vice Mayor of my town, who had been a domestic
violence counselor, I learned that by just going to get Sandy, I had
placed myself in a very dangerous situation, both physically and
professionally.<br />
<br />
The first two questions that he asked me were, (1) "Do you love your kids?" and (2) "Do you value your reputation?"<br />
<br />
He
continued to explain to me that had either Sandy killed the abuser or
had the abuser killed Sandy, I had placed myself directly into the
position of being an accomplice to murder. He continued to explain to me
that when an abusive partner threatens to use a weapon, he more than
likely at some point will and he was mad at me.<br />
<br />
I learned that my personal experience has actually shown me the <a href="http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/" target="_blank">cycle of violence</a>
that normally exists in a violent relationship and how domestic
violence is all about power and control. The abusive partner will
usually blame the victim for the violent acts and after hearing this
repeatedly, the victim may come to believe it and accept the blame for
the violence. She will always try to do better and will go back to the
violence.<br />
<br />
When <a href="http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/support-a-friend-or-family-member-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx" target="_blank">confronted with a situation of domestic violence</a>,
we should never criticize or talk badly about the abuser because he has
already told her many times that no one likes him and everyone wants to
see them split up. When the victim hears what the abuser has said is
true, it only drives her back to him.<br />
<br />
Many domestic violence
victims have called the police only to find out that even though her
abuser was arrested, he could be back home within just a few hours after
posting bail. The domestic violence victim, in most cases, doesn't have
the time she needs to get everything together and get out and she fears
the wrath of an abusive partner after being arrested more than she
trusts law enforcement to protect her and oftentimes, her children.<br />
<br />
Many women stay in a situation of domestic violence out of fear for their lives. Information obtained from the <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a>
and other organizations indicates that a women who leaves a violent
relationship has a 75% greater chance of being murdered than one who
stays.<br />
<br />
Sadly, I have learned through personal experience, that a
woman living in a violent relationship will stay simply because she
actually loves her abuser.<br />
<br />
Many women who want to leave a violent
relationship have no where to go. They have no family nearby, they have
been totally isolated from their friends by their abusive partner, and
oftentimes the domestic violence shelters are full. These women have the
choice of living on the streets and being homeless or staying in the
violence and that's not much of a choice, because either way they lose.<br />
<br />
When
an abused woman turns to her pastor or some member of her congregation,
most often she is counseled on the sanctity of marriage or the role of a
good wife, when in reality the church is not educated on the subject of
domestic violence and really has no idea of how to deal with it.<br />
<br />
In researching state <a href="http://womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/laws-on-violence-against-women/" target="_blank">laws addressing domestic violence</a>
in every state in the United States, I find something very amazing,
they all are different. Some states differ drastically in even the
definition of domestic violence and my first impression was, if they
can't even define it, how in the world can they hope to control it.<br />
<br />
Yes, domestic violence is alive and well in these United States and we must all be <a href="https://www.gadfcs.org/familyviolence/howhelpother.php" target="_blank">concerned enough to get involved</a>
and do something about it. Our individual communities, our churches,
and our businesses must clearly understand that domestic violence
affects all of us, from the prices we pay for healthcare to the premiums
we pay for insurance.<br />
<br />
There are some 4 million women out there
who need our help and building more domestic violence shelters is
definitely not the answer to the problem. Our state laws must be changed
to properly define and address domestic violence and law enforcement
personnel must be properly trained to deal with violence in the home.<br />
<br />
We
must show by our actions that domestic violence is just not acceptable
in our society and no woman should have to suffer physical, sexual or
emotional violence in their own home. No child should ever have to
witness the murder of a mother in a violent relationship. Our <a href="http://www.senate.gov/" target="_blank">state senators</a> must know and understand how we feel.<br />
<br />
Together
we can make a difference and we can stop sending the message to abused
women that their torture and sometimes murder is not important to us.
Domestic violence can sometimes cease to be a "project" and suddenly
become a "passion". If you would like to learn how you can personally
join the fight against domestic violence, contact your <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/resources/StateCoalitionList.php" target="_blank">state coalition against domestic violence</a>.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a small business owner and aren't currently supporting any particular
cause or campaign, why not join in supporting public awareness of the
domestic violence problem?
Domestic violence is all around us. It's in our neighborhoods and the places we work. It's not a private matter and it doesn't happen to just poor people. The only way we can help stop it is to talk about it. I would like to hear what you have to say. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html">How domestic violence affects children</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-victims-what-can-you.html">What can you do about domestic violence?</a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html">Domestic violence: Myths/Truths</a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-74975355288727240002015-02-15T00:00:00.000-06:002015-02-15T12:20:13.735-06:00Domestic Violence Isn't Always Physical Violence<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3z4KSiME1a4Vta0rUmgB-n53kO-k0eH7SjWQlHq8JxunkI0w6-PAzbKtuqpMzI5EPbWSTaB9LsCtl0J2LSIZa1_Qs-OULIUz9E2gZWdH-vk0fzFOU0G0DG5E4dYzD-gJZPBQwdSX2m-Cr/s1600/real-men.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence is learned behavior" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3z4KSiME1a4Vta0rUmgB-n53kO-k0eH7SjWQlHq8JxunkI0w6-PAzbKtuqpMzI5EPbWSTaB9LsCtl0J2LSIZa1_Qs-OULIUz9E2gZWdH-vk0fzFOU0G0DG5E4dYzD-gJZPBQwdSX2m-Cr/s1600/real-men.gif" title="Real men don't abuse the ones they're supposed to love" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Real men aren't violent.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When domestic violence was first given any real attention in the
1970s, it was broadly defined as a situation involving abusive behavior
in an intimate relationship. The problem of domestic violence gained
significant attention in the 1990s and the definition was expanded to
include domestic abuse, spousal abuse, intimate partner violence, family
violence and spousal battering.<br />
<br />
So defined, domestic violence takes on
many forms, including physical assault, sexual assault, psychological
assault and attacks against property and pets.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Physical Assault</h3>
<br />
Physical
assaults may occur frequently or infrequently, but in many cases they
tend to escalate in severity and frequency over time. This form of
domestic violence may include shoving, pushing, restraining, hitting or
kicking. Unfortunately, many violent situations end in the death of the
victim, the abuser or both.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Sexual Assault</h3>
<br />
Sexual assault
occurs in a relationship when one partner forces sexual acts that are
unwanted or declined by the other partner. A <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf" target="_blank">National Fact Sheet</a>
published by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence states
“Nearly 7.8 million women have been raped by an intimate partner at some
point in their lives.”<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<h3>
Psychological Assault</h3>
<br />
According to <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/intimatepartnerviolence/definitions.html" target="_blank">Centers for Disease Control and Prevention</a>,
this form of domestic violence<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“can include, but is not limited to,
humiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do,
withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to
make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim
from friends and family, and denying the victim access to money or other
basic resources.” </blockquote>
<br />
Many times, just being late in coming home from the
grocery store is an abuser’s justification for additional humiliation
or violence. Abusers always attempt to place all the blame for an
abusive relationship on the victim.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Threats of Physical Violence</h3>
<br />
Oftentimes
abusers will use words, gestures or even weapons to make the victim
feel the real threat of injury or death. The abuser may threaten to
kill himself or to take the children and leave.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Attacks Against Property and Pets</h3>
<br />
In
an abuser’s attempts to maintain total control and dominance, the
abuser may destroy property that may include household objects or
treasured items belonging to the victim, hitting the walls, or abusing
or killing beloved pets.<br />
<br />
To truly understand just what domestic
violence is, we must also understand the abusers. As with their
victims, individuals who batter fall into no specific categories. They
come from all class backgrounds, races, religions and walks of life.
They may be unemployed or highly paid professionals. The batterer may be
a good provider, a sober and upstanding member of the community, or a
respected member of his church’s congregation.<br />
<br />
We must understand
that even when a domestic violence victim chooses to leave, there may
be invisible scars that will last for a lifetime.<br />
<br />
Now that we
know just what domestic violence is, we must get involved and do
whatever we can to stop the violence. No woman, in a free society,
should suffer violence or abuse in her own home, while her children
watch.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================
Domestic violence is all around us. It's in our neighborhoods and the places we work. It's not a private matter and it doesn't happen to just poor people. The only way we can help stop it is to talk about it. I would like to hear what you have to say. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-29485487314173187442014-05-25T10:24:00.001-05:002015-04-01T12:01:42.424-05:00Violence Against Women Act<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpbYPRlfWGeudu0a7XK2mPOng9_FrCuds_mw-XVVa5wK1SarPjAw4-_3cWPbk4P9j16-YblOiH7ckHIXzwuI2uzUDK-PN6_g5zjjOvjBdGm9goP9UPavUTbaWlIjzFR8KKecxFg2d2S2O/s1600/domestic-violence-against-law.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence is an illegal act" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpbYPRlfWGeudu0a7XK2mPOng9_FrCuds_mw-XVVa5wK1SarPjAw4-_3cWPbk4P9j16-YblOiH7ckHIXzwuI2uzUDK-PN6_g5zjjOvjBdGm9goP9UPavUTbaWlIjzFR8KKecxFg2d2S2O/s1600/domestic-violence-against-law.gif" height="283" title="All types of domestic violence are against the law." width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Domestic violence is against the law.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In 1994, U.S. Senator Joseph Biden sponsored legislation called the <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/1is2many/about" target="_blank">Violence Against Women Act,</a>
as part of the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994.
The legislation passed with bipartisan support of 226 sponsors in the
House and 68 in the Senate.<br />
<br />
Here's what Senator Biden had to say a few years after passage of the Violence Against Women Act:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"I
consider the Violence Against Women Act the single most significant
legislation that I've crafted during my 35-year tenure in the Senate.
Indeed, the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 was the
beginning of a historic commitment to women and children victimized by
domestic violence and sexual assault. Our nation has been rewarded for
this commitment. Since the Act's passage in 1994, domestic violence has
dropped by almost 50%, incidents of rape are down by 60%, and the number
of women killed by an abusive husband or boyfriend is down by 22%.
Today, more than half of all rape victims are stepping forward to report
the crime. And since we passed the Act in 1994 over a million women
have found justice in our courtrooms and obtained domestic violence
protective orders." </blockquote>
<br />
Even with Senator Biden's comments about
more domestic violence victims "stepping forward", according to national
statistics, domestic violence still remains the most under reported
crime.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Domestic violence
is all about "power and control", a complete domination of one person
over another in a marriage or other partnership. Many people seem to
think that domestic violence isn't real unless there are physical
injuries or when someone is murdered by a partner. That philosophy can
be seen in our state laws, which in a lot of cases, seem to not even
render a proper definition of domestic violence. It states can't even
define it, how in the world can they hope to control it?<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/domviolence.htm" target="_blank">U. S. Department of Justice</a>
says that a woman suffers from domestic violence once every 11 seconds
in these United States. In other areas, this statistic reads - every 9
seconds, but the time doesn't really matter. The fact remains that over 4
Million women suffer the affects of domestic violence every year.<br />
<br />
According to a <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/vawa_factsheet.pdf" target="_blank">fact sheet</a>
published by the White House, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) has
improved the criminal justice response to violence against women by:<br />
<ul>
<li>holding
rapists accountable for their crimes by strengthening federal penalties
for repeat sex offenders and creating a federal “rape shield law,”
which is intended to prevent offenders from using victims’ past sexual
conduct against them during a rape trial;</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>keeping victims safe
by requiring that a victim’s protection order will be recognized and
enforced in all state, tribal, and territorial jurisdictions within the
United States;</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>increasing rates of prosecution, conviction, and
sentencing of offenders by helping communities develop dedicated law
enforcement and prosecution units and domestic violence dockets;</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>ensuring
that police respond to crisis calls and judges understand the realities
of domestic and sexual violence by training law enforcement officers,
prosecutors, victim advocates and judges; VAWA funds train over 500,000
law enforcement officers, prosecutors, judges, and other personnel every
year;</li>
</ul>
<br />
This fact sheet also indicates that the Violence Against Women Act has brought about positive change:<br />
<ul>
<li>More victims are reporting domestic and sexual violence to police, and reports to police are resulting in more arrests.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>States have reformed their laws to take violence against women more seriously:</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Over
35 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Virgin Islands have
adopted laws addressing domestic and sexual violence, and stalking in
the workplace. These laws vary widely and may offer a victim time off
from work to address the violence in their lives, protect victims from
employment discrimination related to the violence, and/or provide
unemployment insurance to survivors who must leave their jobs because of
the abuse.</li>
</ul>
<br />
Attorney General Eric Holder released <a href="http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2012/September/12-ag-1109.html" target="_blank">this statement</a> on the 18th anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“Since
the landmark Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) became law 18 years ago
today, VAWA has vastly improved our ability to address domestic
violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking and has helped
countless victims of these crimes get access to needed services. "</blockquote>
<br />
According to a news report by <a href="http://tv.msnbc.com/2012/12/06/stalled-violence-against-women-act-could-be-negotiated-during-lame-duck/" target="_blank">MSNBC</a>:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Congress
voted to reauthorize VAWA in 2000 and again in 2005, but the House
stalled the act this spring when Republicans took issue with the
Senate’s new expansions. The revised version extended provisions to LGBT
individuals, immigrants, and Native Americans to receive protection.
The House however rejected the Senate’s version and countered with its
own act that excluded those groups.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Full reauthorization has been
stymied, and the fate of the act remains unknown. VAWA is set to expire
at the end of December and if the House does not move to reauthorize the
Senate’s version by the end of this year, legislative process on the
act would start over at the start of next year."</blockquote>
<br />
The "Violence
Against Women Act" was written with much concern and hope to do
something about domestic violence and abuse, but the law in itself can't
do much.<br />
<br />
We, as citizens of the greatest nation on earth, must come to
the conclusion that violence against women is an act that will not be
tolerated and we must let our elected government officials know.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a small business owner and aren't currently supporting any particular
cause or campaign, why not join <a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/" target="_blank">BWC Marketing</a> in supporting public awareness of
domestic violence?
Domestic violence is all around us. It's in our neighborhoods and the places we work. It's not a private matter and it doesn't happen to just poor people. The only way we can help stop it is to talk about it. I would like to hear what you have to say. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html"><img align="default" alt="How domestic violence affects children" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-children.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html"><img align="default" alt="Personal perspective of domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-reflections.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Myths and truths." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-myths.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html">How domestic violence affects children</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html">Personal perspective of domestic violence</a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html">Domestic violence: Myths/Truths</a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/walking-lifes-road-ken-bradford/1120440562?ean=2940046205114" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/walking-lifes-road-ken-bradford/1120440562?ean=2940046205114" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCPCvXxZaV4_VCuTx5uVcAM8yQ9Vd9MRLjkJ9rw2Aok6oY7g6bow-JPjbqnFuXfoviLiazv3-rwaaTujSHs5RVXBKiIvmXTcU3pctWcAQnFXFl9sLnTS0PR6NZEW9oiyRoLYaUJxcY9Ggf/s1600/walking-lifes-roadBN.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Walking Life's Road" by Ken Bradford - Available at Barnes & Noble.</div>
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-28862006376175241272014-05-19T06:50:00.002-05:002014-09-20T09:24:31.605-05:00How Domestic Violence Affects Children<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiajWmSQXOjQfSC1_RUqT5dsuCXHVqW7EE87398grWR7w9pnpEVataEbDK6v7i0OPn-5ppRcYJBsVVqV5_E8hDbIn-VGWYLuM_z2U1-nyUEilweG62LgoYy8EaERWxNzcMMxVpBm1NGhNEk/s1600/domestic-violence-children.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Children exposed to domestic violence risk being abused" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiajWmSQXOjQfSC1_RUqT5dsuCXHVqW7EE87398grWR7w9pnpEVataEbDK6v7i0OPn-5ppRcYJBsVVqV5_E8hDbIn-VGWYLuM_z2U1-nyUEilweG62LgoYy8EaERWxNzcMMxVpBm1NGhNEk/s1600/domestic-violence-children.gif" height="320" title="Domestic violence can have a life long impact on children" width="287" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exposure to violence endangers children</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
According to the experts in the field of domestic violence, children who live in violent relationships not only are exposed to violent events, but also face the risk of neglect, the risk of being abused directly and the tragic risk of losing one or both parents.<br />
<br />
Studies conducted by the <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/domesticviolence/domesticviolencec.cfm" target="_blank">U. S. Department of Health and Human Services</a> estimate that 10 to 20 percent of children are at risk for exposure to domestic violence. This estimation means that from 3.3 to 10 million children witness the abuse of a parent or adult caregiver each year.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Public opinion of domestic violence and its affects on children </h3>
<br />
A study conducted by the Human Services Policy Center indicates that the general public feels:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Exposure to violence harms and endangers all children. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li> Mothers who stay with an abuser are not protecting their children. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li> Childhood exposure to violence is a form of maltreatment. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li> Child protective intervention is needed in these circumstances. </li>
</ul>
This study went on to reveal the results of interviews with children who have been exposed to violent situations in their homes. These children believed:<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<ul>
<li>No place is safe. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Adults cannot protect themselves or their children. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Keeping the secret of domestic violence is difficult and shameful. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>They are responsible for protecting the victim. </li>
</ul>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Understanding the difficulties experienced by children exposed to domestic violence </h3>
<br />
In addition to the risk of direct physical abuse, children who live in a violent home experience emotional and psychological abuse. According the to U. S. Department of Health and Human Services' <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfm" target="_blank">Child Welfare Information Gateway</a>, children experience many difficulties including:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Behavioral, social, and emotional problems</b> - Children exposed to domestic violence tend to be more aggressive, depressed, and anxious. They may develop anger, low self-esteem, and have difficulties building social relationships. They feel shame and may even blame themselves for the violent situation. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Cognitive and attitudinal problems</b> - Children who experience domestic violence have difficulties at school. They form a belief in rigid gender stereotypes and male privilege. They develop slower cognitive development, lack of conflict resolution skills, and limited problem solving skills. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Long-term problems</b> - Children exposed to domestic violence are more likely to be abusers or victims as adults. The trauma of experiencing the violence may lead to depression later in life and studies have shown that it may even lead to premature death. </li>
</ul>
The following is quoted from an article written by <a href="http://www.aafp.org/afp/2002/1201/p2052.html" target="_blank">Melissa M. Stiles, M.D</a>., University of Wisconsin-Madison Medical School, Madison, Wisconsin for the Academy of Family Physicians:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"They also are more disobedient at home and at school, and are more likely to have social competence problems, such as poor school performance and difficulty in relationships with others. Child witnesses display inappropriate attitudes about violence as a means of resolving conflict and indicate a greater willingness to use violence themselves." </blockquote>
<br />
<h3>
Affects of domestic violence vary among children </h3>
<br />
It appears that the gender of the child has some affect on how this emotional trauma is reflected in a child's behavior. Boys tend to exhibit more "externalized behaviors", like aggression, while the behavior of girls is more "internalized", exhibiting withdrawal or depression.<br />
<br />
Younger children appear to exhibit emotional distress at a higher level than older children. It is believed that the older children may have a better understanding of the violence and may have adapted better coping strategies. No child is immune to the devastating effects of domestic violence and it is the most toxic form of violence exposure.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Long lasting effects of domestic violence on children </h3>
<br />
There is no doubt that a child who witnesses violence between parents or caretakers is at a very high risk of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. According to the <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a>,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Men who witnessed domestic violence as children are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children." </blockquote>
<br />
<h3>
Some states are taking action to protect children from domestic violence </h3>
<br />
Some states are considering legislation which will actually re-define "child neglect" or "child maltreatment" and could place penalties on those who allow their children to witness domestic violence. Other states feel that new laws is not the most effective way to address the problem, but feel that by building better relationships between domestic violence service providers and child protective services may be a better answer.<br />
<br />
Most courts recognize the need for children to spend time with both parents, regardless of the relationship between the parents. There are many points of current debate regarding "supervised" and "unsupervised" visitation with children of divorced parents. Due to lack of funding and the shortage of trained professionals, the courts usually order "unsupervised" visitation, which can endanger both the abused parent and the children.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence is a very serious problem, but few people seem to understand all of its devastating affects. There are many organizations whose mission is to stop the violence, but all of these efforts leave domestic violence at epidemic levels in the United States.<br />
<br />
No one seems to understand that until the abusers are removed from these violent homes and appropriate punishment is rendered, domestic violence will never be brought under control.<br />
<br />
Most people get angry and sick to their stomachs when they hear of a child being molested or even murdered, but seem to never have any concern for the children who witness violence and murder and are ashamed to tell anyone about it. These children who live in constant fear are themselves becoming violent.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================
Domestic violence is all around us. It's in our neighborhoods and the places we work. It's not a private matter and it doesn't happen to just poor people. The only way we can help stop it is to talk about it. I would like to hear what you have to say. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-18669059080630652582014-05-17T13:23:00.003-05:002015-08-10T08:13:37.091-05:00Domestic Violence: Why Women Tolerate Abuse<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKf7dJ4mdPikN96lTsRo7MWjd2sOLETiH4oDJyvzwQzAv0xfdspVGxKHNkQ7M4YIHog5gl32IAqoQQ9u9TutrCTHGVt0IKYWa6BAHINcXmvBI15NlsC4nw7PbYLbbgVBtSvaRqiCjMx9D/s1600/domestic-violence-hotline.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKf7dJ4mdPikN96lTsRo7MWjd2sOLETiH4oDJyvzwQzAv0xfdspVGxKHNkQ7M4YIHog5gl32IAqoQQ9u9TutrCTHGVt0IKYWa6BAHINcXmvBI15NlsC4nw7PbYLbbgVBtSvaRqiCjMx9D/s1600/domestic-violence-hotline.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">National Domestic Violence Hotline</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Understanding reasons for tolerating domestic abuse in relationships
where women are emotionally, sexually or physically abused, is as
complex as understanding why any man would treat a woman in such a
deplorable manner in the first place.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Both love and domestic violence are learned behavior</h3>
<br />
The
experts say that domestic violence is "learned behavior" and it is not
caused by alcohol, drugs or any other outside condition or situation
which men normally like to use as an excuse for their behavior.<br />
<br />
One
must understand that love is also a "learned behavior" and, as strange
as it may seem, some women who suffer the devastating effects of
domestic violence actually love their abuser. They live each day in
hopes of change in the person who initially won their heart.<br />
<h3>
<a name='more'></a></h3>
<h3>
A personal account of domestic violence</h3>
<br />
One woman's <a href="http://www.tn.gov/sos/ecw/domestic_violence_report.pdf" target="_blank">personal story of domestic violence</a>
puts it this way:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"After our first meeting, he called a few times and
seemed very sweet and funny. When I invited him to a party, he arrived
with flowers and was very charming. I was smitten and we began dating.
My 21st birthday arrived and he wined and dined me and lavished me with
expensive gifts and constant flattery."</blockquote>
What woman in her right
mind wouldn't like to be treated in this manner? She fell in love with
him and nothing anyone could say or do would change her feelings for
him.<br />
<br />
Soon everything changed as this same woman explains -<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"By
this time, I was emotionally and mentally broken. I was exhausted,
living in constant fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. The verbal
abuse continued as the physical abuse escalated. He once whipped me
around by my arm and almost pulled my arm out of socket."</blockquote>
This
case is typical in showing that some women actually believe that the
abuse and violence is in some way their fault as this woman states, ". .
. living in constant fear of saying or doing the wrong thing."<br />
<br />
This is
another reason why some women stay in an abusive relationship. They seem
to feel that if they will do something different or change themselves,
the violence and abuse will stop. They just don't understand that
nothing they can do will change their abusive partner.<br />
<br />
Thus far
has been mentioned love and the feeling of guilt as reasons why women
stay in violent or abusive relationships and now we will look at how
some women view the role of law enforcement personnel in a domestic
violence situation.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Women tolerate abuse because they feel state laws won't protect them</h3>
<br />
In most states domestic violence laws are written to give the responding police officer total control of the situation. <a href="http://www.lexisnexis.com/hottopics/colorado/" target="_blank">Colorado Revised Statute 18.6.803.6</a>
states -<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Additionally, nothing in this subsection (1) shall be
construed to require a peace officer to arrest either party involved in
an alleged act of domestic violence when a peace officer determines
there is no probable cause to believe that a crime or offense of
domestic violence has been committed."</blockquote>
In other words if the
responding police officer doesn't see blood, broken bones or some other
physical evidence to show "probable cause", the fact that the woman had
been raped and emotionally abused for years can just be ignored. It's
totally up to the police officer.<br />
<br />
In 2011, there were more than 13,384 reports of <a href="http://alternativehorizons.org/index.cfm/domestic-violence-statistics/" target="_blank">domestic violence crimes</a>
filed with Colorado law enforcement agencies. This number includes
11,381 reports of assault, 905 incidents of kidnapping, 305 forcible sex
offenses, and 23 homicides.<br />
<br />
How many times have women called the
police only to be ignored? How many lives would have been saved if the
police officer just did his job and arrested the person accused of
domestic violence. All of the particulars of the situation could be
sorted out later after the women and children were out of danger.<br />
<br />
According to the <a href="http://www.uccs.edu/Documents/pusafety/Violence%20Prevention/Domestic%20Violence/DV%20Facts-%20Colorado.pdf" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a>,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Almost half of all murders in Colorado are committed by an intimate partner. The vast majority of these victims are female."</blockquote>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Women tolerate abuse because orders of protection aren't adequate </h3>
<br />
Even though <a href="http://www.tn.gov/sos/acts/104/pub/pc0920.pdf" target="_blank">Tennessee law (TCA 39-13-113)</a> states that it is an offense to knowingly violate an Order of Protection, it further states:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"(d)
After a person has been arrested for a violation of this section, the
arresting officer shall inform the victim that the person has been
arrested and that such person may be eligible to post bond for the
offense and be released until the date of trial for the offense."</blockquote>
In
Tennessee, even though a woman has obtained an Order of Protection from
the courts, the person violating that Order does not go directly to
jail until a hearing or trial.<br />
<br />
The fact is that many women don't
trust law enforcement personnel to protect them and actually fear the
consequences of the call to the police more than they fear the abuse
from their partner.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Women tolerate abuse out of fear</h3>
<br />
Another
major reason why some women stay in an abusive relationship is fear. We
all know what it's like to be afraid of a thunderstorm or a hurricane,
but what is it like to fear for your life? Some women are threatened
with guns, knives or other deadly weapons and sincerely believe that if
they don't behave in a manner dictated by the abuser, these weapons will
be used against them.<br />
Domestic violence is all about power and
control. The abuser must be in charge of everything, including all of
the finances. Many times women are only given enough money to buy
groceries and have no financial means to make a change in their lives.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Women tolerate domestic violence because they feel isolated</h3>
<br />
One
of the dominant characteristics of domestic violence is isolation. The
abuser won't allow his partner to associate with her friends or even
family and oftentimes, the domestic violence victim just has no place to
go. Where does the victim go if the shelter has no vacancy and she has
no friends or family in the immediate area?<br />
<br />
Love, fear, guilt,
frustration and lack of confidence in those who are sworn to protect
them are common reasons why some women stay in abusive, sometimes
violent, relationships. They seem to have resolved to just keep quiet
about it and hope to live to see tomorrow.
<br />
<br />
==================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not join <a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/" target="_blank">BWC Marketing</a> and get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-understanding-warning.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Understanding warning signs" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-warning-signs.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://spiritual-living-lessons.blogspot.com/p/bible-says-about-domestic-violence.html" target="_blank"><img align="default" alt="What the Bible says about domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-bible.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-victims-what-can-you.html"><img align="default" alt="What can you do about domestic violence?" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-things-business-can-do.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-understanding-warning.html">Domestic violence:</a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-understanding-warning.html">Understanding warning signs </a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://spiritual-living-lessons.blogspot.com/p/bible-says-about-domestic-violence.html" target="_blank">What does the Bible say about domestic violence? </a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-victims-what-can-you.html">Domestic violence: What can you do? </a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-35922773577786721172014-05-17T12:56:00.002-05:002017-01-27T15:03:43.470-06:00Domestic Violence Victims: What Can You Do?<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBF3TA2yjak5s0JYZx-9RdTWlMwn4y99BpYrpEbJkL3lT3qgu9jUebWXxakiVlJRmsDYL05tSFj_1raiWzP3UFduBQ1nTVcuosj0IwOmeb_DKLp970gbUi8eo1-PgwXDuT7mGaOUoUsTkp/s1600/stop-domestic-violence-02.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence can be stopped if people get involved" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBF3TA2yjak5s0JYZx-9RdTWlMwn4y99BpYrpEbJkL3lT3qgu9jUebWXxakiVlJRmsDYL05tSFj_1raiWzP3UFduBQ1nTVcuosj0IwOmeb_DKLp970gbUi8eo1-PgwXDuT7mGaOUoUsTkp/s1600/stop-domestic-violence-02.gif" height="283" title="Get involved and help stop domestic violence" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You Can Help Stop Domestic Violence</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It can be very difficult to know just what to do when someone you
care about is a victim of domestic violence, whether you are a close
friend or a family member. The sad truth is that sometimes she may not
even see herself as a victim or view her partner as a batterer.<br />
<br />
You
must remember in many violent and abusive relationships it is just as
important to know what not to do in your efforts to help.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Some things you can do to help a domestic violence victim:</h3>
<ul>
<li><b>Ask questions</b></li>
</ul>
You
may ask general questions like, "How's the marriage/relationship
going?" or you can ask specific questions - "Has he ever pushed or hit
you?", "Has he ever tried to intimidate you or call you names?". It is
very important to understand that domestic violence doesn't always begin
with physical violence and you must recognize some of the early warning
signs of a possible violent relationship.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Know the effects of domestic violence</b></li>
</ul>
Education
is critical to any help you might give to the victim. You need to
understand that domestic violence can have serious and dangerous
physical and emotional effects on everyone in the household. Share what
you have learned with the victim because information can be a very
powerful tool in helping her recognize and protect herself against any
future violence.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Trust the victim's knowledge</b></li>
</ul>
You must
respect her choices about when she can or can't take certain steps. She
is the expert here and she understands the relationship more than anyone
else. She knows the safest time to take action.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Always give her positive feedback</b></li>
</ul>
Constantly
remind her of her strengths and abilities. If she has suffered physical
and emotional abuse for any amount of time, her self-esteem is very low
and she may even blame herself for the violence. She may be scared to
step out on her own. Make use of the words "I" or "I'm" - "I care about
you." "I'm very concerned about your safety.", "I'm afraid the next call
I get will be that you are seriously injured." Let her know that she is
important to you.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Be patient</b></li>
</ul>
Always be a good listener,
let her talk and when its time for you to speak do not be judgmental in
any way. The victim may have left the abuser before and then returned to
the violence. You must understand that leaving takes time, sometimes
years. It is easy to lose patience with some domestic violence victims,
but leaving is a process and you must recognize your boundaries in order
for you to always be supportive.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Help the victim develop a safety plan</b></li>
</ul>
A
safety plan will help the victim know what to do and how to do it when
she is faced with a violent situation. Your local domestic violence
shelter or state coalition against domestic violence will help you
understand this important plan.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Call the police</b></li>
</ul>
If you
hear or witness a violent incident, don't hesitate to dial 911
immediately. When the police arrive, cooperate with them and ask to fill
out a statement. You want to be able to document the violent episode
and be prepared to testify in court.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Some things you "Should Not" do in trying to help a domestic violence victim:</h3>
<ul>
<li><b>Never criticize the abusive partner</b></li>
</ul>
Remember,
the victim chose her partner and when you say critical things about the
abuser you are applying those same critical comments to the victim.
Many abusive partners isolate their victims by telling them that no one
likes him and everyone wants to see them split up. When she hears your
criticisms, she feels that he was right. The victim will not continue to
come to you if she feels that all you are going to do is criticize.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Don't try to intervene physically</b></li>
</ul>
Trying
to overpower the abuser just might cause injuries or death to you, the
abuser, or the victim. Call 911, that's a policeman's job.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Don't make choices for the victim</b></li>
</ul>
She
is living with someone who never lets her make her own choices and when
you give her orders or ultimatums, you are only repeating that violent
behavior. Trust her knowledge and support her in her decisions.<br />
<br />
Domestic
violence is at epidemic levels in the United States and probably the
best thing any of us can do to stop the violence is to learn about it
and get involved. Just think about it - What would it be like to get off
work in the afternoon and be afraid to go home? or worse still, What if
your partner kept you confined to your house and wouldn't allow you to
have a job? How does it feel to be scared to go to sleep or wake up in
the mornings?<br />
<br />
For a woman to finally decide to leave a violent
relationship takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage. We must
instill that courage in more domestic violence victims by letting them
all know that we do care about them, we support them, and make them
clearly understand that the violence isn't their fault.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.relating360.com/index.php/domestic-violence-what-to-do-when-loved-ones-become-victims-31074/#sourcesAndCitations"></a>
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/new-endings.html">get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness</a>? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-is-everyones-problem.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence is everyones problem." border="0" src="https://webdesignbyken.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/dv-everyones-problem.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html"><img align="default" alt="Personal perspective of domestic violence." border="0" src="https://webdesignbyken.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/dv-pers-perspective.jpg"></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Myths and truths." border="0" src="https://webdesignbyken.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/dv-stop-01.jpg"></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-is-everyones-problem.html">Domestic violence is everyone's problem</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html">Personal perspective of domestic violence</a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html">Domestic violence: Myths/Truths</a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/walking-lifes-road-ken-bradford/1120440562?ean=2940046205114" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img alt="Walking Lifes Road by Ken Bradford. A book about spiritual living." border="0" src="https://webdesignbyken.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/wlr-banner-728.png" width="90%"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/walking-lifes-road-ken-bradford/1120440562?ean=2940046205114" target="_blank">"Walking Life's Road"</a> - A book about spiritual living by Ken Bradford.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-11041090228650546322014-05-17T12:47:00.004-05:002015-02-16T14:23:14.150-06:00Domestic Violence Is Everyones' Problem<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh1dVqSh54NR49o7i5x7eSjLb4KGmQypuRw8jE1faSC0O5g2m9ODIe7TfXm18YT71fQUmGIq_20liwVM9PETgv9RX6HVL-wV6vWQKdk06gs_4jhwGC2wfCu30hel3Q5FTTsstfiJjTlaZt/s1600/cycle-violence.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence may not begin as physical abuse" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh1dVqSh54NR49o7i5x7eSjLb4KGmQypuRw8jE1faSC0O5g2m9ODIe7TfXm18YT71fQUmGIq_20liwVM9PETgv9RX6HVL-wV6vWQKdk06gs_4jhwGC2wfCu30hel3Q5FTTsstfiJjTlaZt/s1600/cycle-violence.gif" height="309" title="Stopping domestic violence by understanding it" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cycle of domestic violence</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The domestic violence problem can probably be best described by the
words of our President in his proclamation recognizing the month of
October as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Domestic
violence spills over into schools and places of work; and it affects
people from every walk of life. Though abuse may occur in the seclusion
of a private residence, its effects scar the face of our Nation".
(George W. Bush, President of the United States)</blockquote>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
What is domestic violence?</h3>
Domestic violence is the power and control of one partner over another in a dating, marital or live-in relationship. Domestic
violence may begin with subtle forms of abuse like, economic
entrapment, psychological pressures or physical isolation, then
oftentimes escalates into a pattern of violent behavior which may
consist of repeated, severe beatings. Domestic violence is not a marital
conflict, a lover's quarrel or a private family matter.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<h3>
Who are the victims of domestic violence?</h3>
According
to the U. S. Department of Justice, 95% of domestic violence victims in
America are women, although men may also be victims.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Who are domestic violence abusers?</h3>
As
with the victims, individuals who commit violent acts against their
partners fall into no specific categories. The abusers come from all
class backgrounds, races, religions and walks of life. The abuser may be
unemployed or a highly paid professional. The abuser may be a good
provider, an upstanding member of his community and a respected member
of his church's congregation.<br />
<br />
<h3>
How often does domestic violence occur?</h3>
Surveys
from the United States and Canada indicate that domestic violence
occurs in 28% of all marriages. Most researches feel that this number is
too low, since domestic violence remains the most under reported crime
in the United States. According to a National Violence Against Women
Survey, a partner or date physically assaults 22% of women during their
lifetime and nearly 5.3 million partner victimizations occur each year
among U. S. women ages 18 and older, resulting in 2 million injuries and
1,300 deaths.<br />
<br />
<h3>
What are the types of domestic violence?</h3>
<ul>
<li><b>Physical assault</b> - including pushing, shoving, restraining, hitting or kicking</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Sexual assault</b> - when one partner forces sexual acts that are unwanted or declined by the other partner</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Psychological assault</b> - isolation, forced financial dependence, verbal abuse, threats, and intimidation</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Attacks against property and/or pets</b> - destruction of personal property or killing or abusing beloved pets</li>
</ul>
<h3>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-neighborhood-watch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Neighborhood watch programs must include domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-neighborhood-watch.jpg" title="" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Every neighborhood watch program should include domestic violence.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</h3>
<h3>
What are we doing to stop domestic violence?</h3>
There
is a National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and each state within
the United States has its own state coalition, all of who say their
goal is to end domestic violence. The President of the United States has
proclaimed the month of October as a time to recognize and fight
domestic violence. The Violence Against Women Act has been signed into
law. Millions and millions of dollars are spent each year in the fight
against domestic violence, but the number of women who experience
physical, sexual and emotional abuse continues to increase.<br />
<br />
Statistics
show that 50% of all women with children who are homeless and on the
streets are there due to violence in their own homes. More and more
children are experiencing the tragic event of witnessing their mothers
being murdered by their fathers or a boyfriend.<br />
<br />
<h3>
So, why aren't we stopping domestic violence?</h3>
The
answer is quite simple really; we just don't know how to deal with
domestic violence. When a state makes laws to punish those who do not
properly care for a dog or a cat and ignores how some men batter, rape
and murder their wives or girlfriends, there's just something wrong with
their priorities.<br />
<br />
Most state laws place the decision on whether to
arrest or not arrest a person involved in a domestic disturbance call
solely on the shoulders of the responding officer. This, in some cases,
means that if the officer doesn't see blood all over the house, he may
feel than an arrest isn't necessary.<br />
<br />
I have personally read accounts
where the accused abuser wasn't arrested because he had left the scene
before the police arrived. There were no accounts of the police pursuing
these people for questioning.<br />
<br />
Many state laws addressing domestic
violence are very complex and sometimes very vague, even in the states
definition of domestic violence. Most states allow accused abusers to
post bail, which means that they are allowed to return home to their
victims within just a couple of hours.<br />
<br />
Many domestic violence
shelters are small and oftentimes have no room for any more victims of
domestic violence and even when there is room there are no programs for
emotional or psychological counseling or any type of job placement
service.<br />
<br />
We aren't stopping domestic violence because we are
throwing money at the problem and not the solution. Instead of making
laws that are more strict, more focused and provide actual penalties for
battering women; our goal seems to be to just build more shelters. That
money could be better spent in enforcing those new laws.<br />
<br />
The proper place for a woman and her children is in their home and not on
the streets or in some cramped shelter; and when we understand that
simple concept we will remove the obstacle that is preventing them from
doing that and we will begin to bring domestic violence under control.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not join <a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/" target="_blank">BWC Marketing</a> and get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html"><img align="default" alt="How domestic violence affects children" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-children.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html"><img align="default" alt="Personal perspective of domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-reflections.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Myths and truths." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-myths.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html">How domestic violence affects children</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html">Personal perspective of domestic violence</a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html">Domestic violence: Myths/Truths</a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-20179537572174901962014-05-17T12:28:00.001-05:002015-02-16T14:38:44.355-06:00Reasons Victims Stay In An Abusive Relationship<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBQC9NZpOCbZfkI74W4Crx5hn3KRdOnob4XEFlWbKhPVYQJE9kEhyAMslMmhdQZC17FlyF4dMeHpPUIHBBisFkgBlAZiF4LSR7pc40blQW-yr4mJ2GFS1dTlNkSgTkftJfFAx_PCCjLAfg/s1600/domestic-violence-workplace.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence in the workplace" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBQC9NZpOCbZfkI74W4Crx5hn3KRdOnob4XEFlWbKhPVYQJE9kEhyAMslMmhdQZC17FlyF4dMeHpPUIHBBisFkgBlAZiF4LSR7pc40blQW-yr4mJ2GFS1dTlNkSgTkftJfFAx_PCCjLAfg/s1600/domestic-violence-workplace.gif" height="289" title="Be aware of domestic violence in the workplace" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Domestic violence in the workplace.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Whether it is easier to leave a violent relationship or stay in the
violence is a very complex issue that will never be as easily resolved
as the subject may appear. One of the major problems in the entire
domestic violence issue is the general public's lack of understanding
and therefore, it is oftentimes difficult for anyone to understand why
the victims of violent behavior don't just leave.<br />
<br />
According to a National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) fact sheet, 85% of domestic violence victims are women. The <a href="http://www.counseling.ucla.edu/care_partnerviolence.html" target="_blank">University of California (UCLA) Counseling Center</a> outlines several reasons why abuse victims stay in violent relationships, including:<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<h3>
Fear of the Abuser</h3>
A
very good reason for women to stay in violent situations is fear for
their lives and possibly the lives of their children. More than likely
the violent and abusive partner has threatened to kill the victim or
himself at least once. The victims chances of being killed are far
greater in leaving than in staying. According to <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/intimatepartnerviolence/consequences.html" target="_blank">Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)</a> in 2010, 1095 females were murdered by an intimate partner.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Victims Feel Responsible for Violence</h3>
Women
stay in domestic violence because they feel the violence is their
fault. They have been told over and over again that if they wouldn't do
certain things, the violence wouldn't happen. They have heard that so
many times, they have begun to believe it and are doing their best to
correct those "bad" things, so they will be treated better.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Victims Don't Know About Available Resources</h3>
Some
women stay in violent relationships because they have no where else to
go and they have no money. Most likely the violent partner controls all
of the money, will not allow his partner to hold a job, and will only
allow the victim to have a certain amount of money for necessary items,
like groceries. Most violence victims do not know about the <a href="http://www.thehotline.org/" target="_blank">Domestic Violence Hotline</a> or that most states have a <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/state-coalition-list.html">state coalition against domestic violence</a> that can be used as a source for help.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Religion or Cultural Beliefs May Prohibit Divorce</h3>
Some
women stay in violent relationships because their religious beliefs
dictate to them that a marriage is sacred and divorce under any
circumstances is wrong. When they have spoken to their pastor or another
member of their church, they most likely have been told to try harder
in being a good partner.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Still Love Partners Who Can Change</h3>
Finally, women may stay in violent relationships because they actually love their abusers. In the <a href="http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/" target="_blank">"Cycle of Violence"</a>
there is sometimes a calm period, where the abusive partner will be
nice and appear to be the person the woman actually fell in love with in
the first place. At this point, the woman may feel that he has changed
and just possibly the violence is over, but she is soon to realize that
it really isn't. This cycle of violence, then calm continues over and
over and each time the victim feels that things will get better.<br />
<br />
Women who stay in the violence are constantly riding a roller coaster of emotions and at times the emotional and psychological abuse
is more devastating than the actual physical assaults. It is common for
women to reach a point where they feel that violence is the life they
deserve, they feel it's their fault and no one seems to care, so why
should they?<br />
<br />
Many women do eventually leave relationships of
violence, but it takes time and it is sometimes a slow process.
Obviously, for women to make the final decision to leave their partners
would require them to disallow all previous reasons for staying, right?
They must overcome the fear of being murdered, they must understand that
the violence isn't their fault, they must understand that some people
do care about them, and they must allow their desire to live a life free
from violence to be greater than their love for their partners.<br />
<br />
Most women don't understand that a <a href="http://www.domesticviolence.org/personalized-safety-plan/" target="_blank">"safety plan"</a>
for leaving will make the leaving somewhat easier. They must have some
where to go and a definite time to leave. Many women just get in a
vehicle with only their purse and maybe a few items of clothing and just
take off. It doesn't take very long for them to realize that they
didn't bring their medicines, their drivers' license, or their social
security card and so they must go back. Normally when they go back, they
stay.<br />
<br />
It is only through the support and involvement of every
citizen, every community, every church, and every business that these
abused women will finally understand and appreciate society's concern
for their safety and happiness and make their decision to leave the
easier decision.<br />
<br />
Whether a woman leaves or stays in a violent
relationship, neither decision is an easy one, but with help and
understanding the right choice could be made more easily.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not join <a href="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/" target="_blank">BWC Marketing</a> and get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
<br />
<br />
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><h3>
Other domestic violence information</h3>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<table border="0" style="width: 595px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html"><img align="default" alt="How domestic violence affects children" border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-children.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html"><img align="default" alt="Personal perspective of domestic violence." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-reflections.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html"><img align="default" alt="Domestic violence: Myths and truths." border="0" src="http://blog-web-content-marketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/DV-myths.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr valign="top">
<td><div align="center">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-domestic-violence-affects-children.html">How domestic violence affects children</a></div>
</div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2015/02/personal-perspective-of-domestic.html">Personal perspective of domestic violence</a></div>
</td>
<td><div align="center">
<a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/2014/05/domestic-violence-separating-myths-from.html">Domestic violence: Myths/Truths</a></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-90799566632370919822014-05-17T12:04:00.004-05:002015-02-16T14:41:11.938-06:00Domestic Violence: Understanding Warning Signs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Ms2Yx17NVz16y-DJukOCpPDaAkBfwbeM4bz-Tq8-IHK7ePv2na6uZtxiiZdmPhIjZhEWOLf6gt7fVXfc9jul_whqGGPgo9qKUyAO4XVJwz3ITXAyAisfPioR3bHbqSEg7u9JRR1Jgk5W/s1600/support-domestic-violence-awareness.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Please support domestic violence awareness" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Ms2Yx17NVz16y-DJukOCpPDaAkBfwbeM4bz-Tq8-IHK7ePv2na6uZtxiiZdmPhIjZhEWOLf6gt7fVXfc9jul_whqGGPgo9qKUyAO4XVJwz3ITXAyAisfPioR3bHbqSEg7u9JRR1Jgk5W/s1600/support-domestic-violence-awareness.gif" height="260" title="The majority of domestic violence is toward women" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Domestic violence awareness needs your support.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Abusive relationships certainly don't begin that way; otherwise the
relationship probably wouldn't begin in the first place. Many
relationships, whether marriage or live-in relationships, often begin
with both partners deeply in love with one another and little things do
seem to go unnoticed. It is these "little things" that could possibly be
telltale signs of bad things to come. It is important to understand domestic abuse and recognize some of the warning signs.<br />
<h3>
<a name='more'></a></h3>
<h3>
The majority of domestic abuse is toward women</h3>
<br />
The majority of abusive relationships in this country involve men committing abusive acts toward women. According to the <a href="http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/domviolence.htm" target="_blank">U. S. Department of Justice</a>, 95% of all domestic violence is directed toward women. Every
year over 4 million women in these United States feel they have made a
good choice in selecting a partner, but every year they are all proved
wrong.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Defining domestic violence or abuse</h3>
<br />
The Department of Justice provides the following definition of domestic violence:<br />
<blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"We
define domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any
relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and
control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be
physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or
threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any
behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten,
terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone."</blockquote>
</blockquote>
Domestic
violence is not just isolated incidences that occur in poverty level
homes. According to statistics all across the U. S., domestic violence
is at epidemic levels. For example: In Colorado, there were 14,123
domestic violence criminal cases filed in 2006. 75% of Alaskans have
experienced or know someone who has experienced domestic violence or
sexual assault. A total of 22,881 domestic violence incidents were
reported in Nevada in 2001. Domestic violence is a major problem in
every single state.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Warning signs of abusive and violent relationships</h3>
<br />
The website <a href="http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/abuser-tricks" target="_blank">newhopeforwomen</a>
provides a list of behaviors that could indicate a potentially abusive
partner. It is important to understand that not every person who
exhibits these traits is a potentially violent person. These behaviors
include:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Controlling behavior</b> - Many
abusers want total control of all finances to prevent the victim from
coming and going freely. They will make the victim ask for money and
only give enough money for things like groceries. </li>
<li><b>Jealousy</b>
- Many abusers will question the victim about where she's been or whom
she's talked to. They will oftentimes accuse the victim of flirting or
become jealous of the time spent with others. The abuser may make
frequent calls to the victim, drop by unexpectedly, check the mileage on
the car, or refuse to let the victim work. </li>
<li><b>Isolation</b>
- Abusers don't want victims to have outside support or resources. They
will talk badly about the victims friends and family to hopefully sever
all ties and totally isolate the victim.</li>
<li><b>Verbal abuse</b> - Abusers want to totally destroy a victim's self esteem. The will say things that are intended to be cruel and degrading. </li>
<li><b>Breaking personal things</b>
- Abusers often punish their victims or attempt to terrorize them into
submission by destroying the victim's personal property. </li>
<li><b>Cruelty to animals or children</b>
- Many abusers are brutal to animals and are totally insensitive to
their pain. They may also punish or tease children for normal children
activities.</li>
</ul>
Oftentimes, potential abuse victims recognize
that their partners are withdrawn and shy. They don't like it when the
other partner wants to socialize with other people. There are often
temper outbreaks over very simple things. Most people just seem to be
too busy to give much notice to these "simple things" and go about in
their efforts to build a relationship.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Domestic abuse victims must reach out to someone</h3>
<br />
Recognizing the warning signs of an abusive relationship is one thing, but having
the courage to do something about it is yet another. Women who feel they
are in an abusive relationship should reach out to their friends and
family.<br />
<br />
Abuse victims should never feel ashamed and must understand that there are people who care about them. Every state has a <a href="http://domestic-violence-effects.blogspot.com/p/state-coalition-list.html">State Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a> and more than likely, there is a domestic violence help center in most communities.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence is learned behavior on the part of the abuser and no matter
how hard victims try, they can't change that behavior. Victims must
recognize the warning signs of domestic abuse and take action. No woman
deserves to be physically, sexually or emotionally abused, especially in
her own home while her children watch.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-84070518352687194242014-05-17T11:58:00.001-05:002014-09-20T10:07:56.929-05:00Domestic Violence Involves Excuses<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL3OMGeTeoOvzWS_uDjJ7GV114fZjEpZBT3HaxOLSPwm3BAGsBldI-_fTMDdoDbrjiPKMQx9kEXFM4BXfkay0nGRS23go-R088kmO8sZLFuEBF30_hFYRxZe-OHJT1ZR0mjk_JQM5H3vVk/s1600/domestic-violence-stats.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL3OMGeTeoOvzWS_uDjJ7GV114fZjEpZBT3HaxOLSPwm3BAGsBldI-_fTMDdoDbrjiPKMQx9kEXFM4BXfkay0nGRS23go-R088kmO8sZLFuEBF30_hFYRxZe-OHJT1ZR0mjk_JQM5H3vVk/s1600/domestic-violence-stats.gif" height="271" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One in Four Women Will Experience Violence</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The experts tell us that the majority of domestic violence incidents
involve men acting violently toward women and actually there are several
"excuses" given by the abusive partner for violent behavior in a
relationship involving domestic violence.<br />
<br />
Some abusive partners
blame their violent actions on drugs or alcohol. The abuser must have
something or someone to blame for his actions, so why not? The problem
here is, how does getting drunk or stoned out of one's mind cause that
person to want to beat up on a woman or a child? Why not just go out and
find another man to beat and threaten? Also, why aren't all alcoholics
and drug addicts violent and abusive toward their partners? The facts
are quite clear, all violent men are not alcoholics and all alcoholics
don't beat or murder their partners.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Men who are alcoholics and commit
violent acts toward their partners have two very distinct problems,
alcoholism and violence, and each of these conditions must be viewed and
treated differently. Alcohol and drugs are "excuses" and not the root
problem of domestic violence. It is learned behavior.<br />
<br />
Some violent
men are constantly accusing their partners of being unfaithful or
cheating. In reality, this "excuse" is used to "set up" the victim in
the never ending cycle of domestic violence. So, when a woman goes to
the grocery store and gets hung up in traffic on the way back home and
takes a little longer to get home than her partner expected, the violent
partner sees this as an opportune time to display his power and control
and begins another violent episode.<br />
<br />
Still other violent and
abusive men will use any "excuse" for their violent behavior, the dishes
aren't washed, the kids aren't dressed, the laundry isn't done, or just
anything to justify in their minds the need for violent acts against
their partners.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence continues to be the most
under reported crime in the United States and its tragic affects are felt
in every state and in every community. In most states, we have stronger
laws protecting animals than we do in protecting women and children in
violent relationships.<br />
<br />
It is time for every American citizen to wake up
and see that we have a problem and understand that domestic violence is
not just a private matter between a man and a woman. We must all get
involved in the fight to stop domestic violence and stop making
"excuses" for not doing so.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-9869687936267872822014-05-17T11:53:00.002-05:002014-09-20T10:09:10.252-05:00Understanding Victims Of Domestic Violence<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmYyj_dXpqvnK2OqBRghVQr-Iy1Rcyx7OZWshsohQa0ME_rYEDiWRfMNqtQUM4zA_pUY-jJ6MJHiyPmcz5GbHQmKFZ23Lfi7QLMqfHXL6Pu0AXPYHCcpHCat5aLsKs293F9ruU74dU-V8M/s1600/domestic-violence-shatters-lives.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmYyj_dXpqvnK2OqBRghVQr-Iy1Rcyx7OZWshsohQa0ME_rYEDiWRfMNqtQUM4zA_pUY-jJ6MJHiyPmcz5GbHQmKFZ23Lfi7QLMqfHXL6Pu0AXPYHCcpHCat5aLsKs293F9ruU74dU-V8M/s1600/domestic-violence-shatters-lives.gif" height="289" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Domestic violence shatters lives.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If you have ever had a friend or loved one who is or was a victim of
domestic violence, there must have been times when you were totally
baffled. First of all, you couldn't understand how a man could be so
cold and mean as to beat up on a woman and you certainly couldn't
understand why she stayed in that violent environment.<br />
<br />
Before we get involved in trying to understand the victim of domestic violence, we must first understand who the victims are.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
According to the <a href="http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/newsroom/pressreleases/2009/BJS10007.htm" target="_blank">U. S. Department of Justice</a>,
the majority of domestic violence victims are women. These victims fall
into no special category. Domestic violence involves victims from all
races, backgrounds, religions and walks of life. They may be
stay-at-home moms, unemployed, highly paid professionals or members of
the armed forces. There may be victims of domestic violence in your own
neighborhood or in the congregation of your church.<br />
<br />
Surveys
conducted in the United States indicate that 22% of all women are
physically assaulted by a partner or date during their lifetime. There
are no statistics on the psychological and emotional abuse, which in
many cases can be as devastating as the bruises and broken bones.
Estimates from the <a href="http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/resources/statistics/domestic-violence" target="_blank">Faith Trust Institute</a>
indicate that approximately 1.3 million women are victims of physical
assault by an intimate partner each year. Exact figures on the
occurrences of domestic violence are very difficult to compile, since
most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.<br />
<br />
Now,
that we have exposed the myth that domestic violence only happens to
poor people in poor neighborhoods, we can move on in our efforts to
understand the victims.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence victims enter into a
relationship, whether it is marriage or just a live-in arrangement, just
like anyone else. These women want companionship, a friend and someone
to share all the good times as well as the bad. Many women,
unfortunately, make the wrong decision and instead of getting a partner,
they actually put themselves in a "master" and "servant" type
relationship. Some men just seem to feel that they own women as
property and they are the only ones who know what's best in a
relationship.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence
doesn't always begin with physical violence and when the male partner
starts calling her names and does everything in his power to intimidate
and control her, she oftentimes takes this as just normal behavior for
that particular person. She's right; it is "normal" behavior, but it is
not the behavior she wants to live with and unfortunately, she doesn't
always understand that fact in the very beginning.<br />
<br />
Women who live
in violent or abusive relationship are told repeatedly that the
violence is their fault and if they would stop doing certain things, it
wouldn't happen. This blame is repeated over and over again, until
finally the woman begins to believe it and may do everything in her
power to "fix" things, not realizing that domestic violence only gets
worse, not better.<br />
<br />
Victims of domestic violence live in constant
fear. If they are even allowed to work outside the home, they fear
getting off work. If they get a three-day weekend, they fear time off
and see those days as more violence. They fear the time when their
partner gets home from work. They fear they have prepared the wrong
thing for dinner. I could go on and on, but the point here is that a
woman in a violent relationship lives in fear 24 hours a day, seven days
a week.<br />
<br />
Women in domestic violence are threatened with weapons
and oftentimes their most treasured possessions are destroyed by the
abuser. Some abusers go as far as to kill the family pet to show his
power and maintain control.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence victims don't leave
the violence for many different valid reasons. They may feel they
shouldn't disrupt the children's lives anymore than they are already.
They may have no money and have absolutely no place to go. Some fear for
their lives and still others may be so drawn within themselves that
they can't see any relationship being any other way.<br />
<br />
If there are <a href="http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domesticviolence.cfm" target="_blank">children</a>
in the home, the effects of domestic violence are even greater.
Children are often the unseen victims of domestic violence. There are
children who witness their mother being slapped and kicked and sadly,
sometimes murdered. Even the medical experts can't accurately measure
the psychological and emotional damage done to children in these violent
situations. It is, however, an established fact that children who live
in domestic violence have a far greater chance of becoming abusers
themselves.<br />
<br />
We somehow just can't seem to grasp the idea that
domestic violence is our problem. Some feel that this is just a matter
that needs to be handled between the man and the woman. Even though we
may not be experiencing violence in our own relationships, we are all
"victims" of domestic violence in one way or the other.<br />
<br />
Domestic
violence costs states million of dollars every year for health care and
that affects our health insurance premiums. States spend millions of
dollars every year in housing domestic violence murderers. It is
estimated that one out of five workdays missed by women is domestic
violence related and that costs businesses a lot of money. Domestic
violence impacts our police departments, our legal departments and our
court systems.<br />
<br />
According to the <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/resources/FactSheets.php" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)</a>,
the cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year. A
fact sheet published by the NCADV reveals that victims of domestic
violence lose almost 8 million days of paid work due to the violence
perpetrated against them by current or former husbands, boyfriends and
dates.<br />
<br />
The one very important thing that we must understand about
domestic violence victims is that they need our help. The proper place
for a woman and her children is in their home, not in a shelter and only
we can give them that opportunity.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-46388150268778476842014-05-17T11:41:00.003-05:002014-09-20T10:10:26.406-05:00Recognizing Abuse In A RelationshipMany intimate relationships, which begin in total infatuation, may,
overtime, turn into violent and abusive nightmares. Domestic violence
doesn't always begin with a slap, a kick or any type of physical
violence, but more subtle gestures or comments may be signs of things to
come. There are definitely some very significant warning signs to be
taken seriously in recognizing a potential abusive relationship.<br />
<br />
This
discussion will focus on domestic violence as it affects women, since
the U. S. Department of Justice states that 95% of domestic violence
victims in America are women.<br />
<br />
Here are some questions to ask
yourself about your relationship, whether it is a marriage or just a
live-in arrangement, which may help in recognizing a potential violent
and abusive relationship:<br />
<br />
<h3>
Does your partner seem to go out of his way to embarrass you, call you bad names, or try to put you down?</h3>
Many
violent relationships begin with "intimidation", which is no more than
an effort to destroy your self-esteem and make you feel inferior to your
partner.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Does your partner ever stare at you in ways that make you feel uneasy or scared?</h3>
Domestic
violence, according to the experts, is learned behavior and the purpose
of these gestures is to attack your pride and make you feel less than
him.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Does your partner make all the decisions and control all the money in your relationship?</h3>
Choosing
one partner to keep the checkbook balanced and pay the bills is
perfectly normal in some relationships. The difference comes when your
partner doesn't even let you see the checkbook or his paycheck. Domestic
violence is all about power and control and if your partner never
discusses anything with you, makes you ask for money, or even sometimes
steals your money; there definitely might be a problem.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Has your partner ever destroyed any of your personal property?</h3>
This
again falls within the "intimidation" phase of the cycle of violence.
Your partner is proving his male dominance to you and is inflicting his
violent behavior on you through your most treasured personal property.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Does your partner accuse you of having affairs?</h3>
Partners
who have learned to behave violently toward women always must have
someone or some thing to blame, because they would never blame
themselves. In the vicious cycle of violence, there is a phase known as
the "set-up victim" phase. The abuser feels the need to show his power
by committing violent acts toward you, but in his mind, he needs a good
reason. Accusing you of cheating on him makes him feel justified in
being abusive or even violent toward you.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Does your partner discourage you from seeing your friends or family?</h3>
An
abusive partner may begin by telling you that no one likes him and
everyone wants to see the two of you split up. Abusive partners feel the
need to keep their victims totally isolated for several reasons. First
of all the abuser doesn't want you to tell anyone about his behavior,
but you must.<br />
<br />
If you have condoned violent behavior over a period of
time and finally make the decision to call the police, according to them
that would be his first offense. You must let people know the very
first time you are the victim of violent behavior so there will be a
record of it. It is not your fault and you certainly should not feel
ashamed of anything.<br />
<br />
Another reason your partner wants you to feel
totally isolated from everyone is simply because he doesn't want you to
have anywhere to go should you choose to leave him. Don't listen to him,
stay in touch with your friends and especially your family, because
they do care about you.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Has your partner ever told you that you are a bad parent?</h3>
You
partner is trying to make you feel guilty about the care of your
children and the next phase of this may be threats to even take your
children away from you. He is actually using your children to place the
blame for his violent behavior on you. Children are always the innocent
victims of domestic violence.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Has your partner ever pushed, slapped, raped you or threatened you with a weapon?</h3>
For
many abusive partners this is the only way to show you that he is the
boss. He must put you in a place where you have little or no self-esteem
so he can maintain total power and control. At this stage, you have
become no more than his servant and it will only get worse.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Has your partner ever threatened suicide?</h3>
This
is no more than a "pity party" on the part of the abuser. He doesn't
want you to leave because then he would have no one to intimidate,
threaten or attack.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Does your partner blame alcohol or drugs for his temper getting out of control?</h3>
You
must understand that even though alcohol or drugs may cause the violent
behavior to be more intense, these are not the root cause of violent
behavior. Not all alcoholics beat their wives and not all domestic
violence abusers are alcoholics. As previously mentioned, the abuser
must have something to blame for his behavior and these are just
excuses.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Are you afraid of your partner?</h3>
Our home is the
one place everyone should feel totally safe and secure. If you are
actually afraid of your partner, how could it be the relationship you
once envisioned? No woman deserves to the physically, sexually or
emotional assaulted in her own home and this just might be the right
time to leave. You are not going to be able to change him no matter how
hard you try and odds are he will not change himself.<br />
<br />
If you
answered, "Yes" to any of these questions, you probably are not living
in a normal relationship and you must understand that even though there
is no violent behavior occurring right now, the potential for violence
is very high.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence hurts you directly, but it also
has a devastating affect on those around you who care about you, but may
feel totally helpless.<br />
<br />
If you are in an abusive relationship and
want to be free of it, there is hope and there is help available to
you. The violence is not your fault and you are definitely not alone.<br />
<br />
If
you are doing research on the internet, please be very careful. People
with no technical skills can trace the sites you have visited. It might
be a good idea to use the computer at your local library or at a
friend's house.<br />
<br />
There is a National Coalition Against Domestic
Violence and every state has a coalition against domestic violence. Most
coalitions have a 24-hour hotline to help you find assistance in your
local area. Don't hesitate to call them if you feel you need help.<br />
<br />
Many
communities have safe houses to provide you with a place to live and
many have counseling and job placement services to help you get back on
your feet.<br />
<br />
It should not be an embarrassment to admit you are a
victim of domestic violence. Some 4 Million women across the United
States are experiencing exactly what you are going through. Leaving a
violent relationship takes planning and a tremendous amount of courage.<br />
<br />
If you are living in violence, it will only escalate over time, so why
not ask for help and start the healing process and be the person God
intended you to be.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-5804114073955312382014-05-17T11:10:00.000-05:002014-09-20T10:11:17.727-05:00Domestic Violence: Stopping The Violence and Abuse<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5KrIei_QsM2hZ3_cZR5HGpOFLbsTV1yiptXGBLhWe0pTk233PafdhHk1mF7ADKhyTiNCoPfk0lbz7Gl52Hi-teOoDy-rRGEJtDEa_XjFiMJtd_DJIcBOjw5OziuCgxoMA9UgYhlNbgSr-/s1600/domestic-violence-awareness.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence awareness - someone's life depends on it" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5KrIei_QsM2hZ3_cZR5HGpOFLbsTV1yiptXGBLhWe0pTk233PafdhHk1mF7ADKhyTiNCoPfk0lbz7Gl52Hi-teOoDy-rRGEJtDEa_XjFiMJtd_DJIcBOjw5OziuCgxoMA9UgYhlNbgSr-/s1600/domestic-violence-awareness.gif" title="Support domestic violence awareness" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Support Domestic Violence Awareness</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Domestic violence is at epidemic levels across these United States
and even though both men and women suffer the effects of abusive,
sometimes violent relationships, this article is designed to address
domestic violence against women. The statistics show that the majority
of domestic violence victims are women and the majority of those who are
killed by a partner are women.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
To stop domestic violence, you must understand just what it is</h3>
<br />
There
seem to be hundreds or even thousands of organizations who proclaim
that their mission is to stop domestic violence. So, why aren't they
stopping domestic violence? Could it possibly be that people don't
really understand just what it is?<br />
A review of state laws
addressing domestic violence indicates they differ, sometimes
drastically, in how they actually "define" domestic violence. For
example, the <a href="http://www.womenslaw.org/statutes_detail.php?statute_id=6935" target="_blank">Alabama Code</a> addresses domestic violence as simply "abuse", in <a href="https://www.nmbar.org/Public/KnowtheLaw/KTLdomesticviolence.html" target="_blank">New Mexico</a>
it's "domestic abuse" and in other states domestic violence is
mentioned in with all the other "assault" statutes. Most state laws
mention only the physical abuse of domestic violence, with seemingly
little or no concern for the emotional or psychological abuse that goes
along with a violent or abusive relationship.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Domestic violence according to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence</h3>
<br />
The <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/learn/TheProblem.php" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a> sees the problem like this:<br />
<blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Domestic
violence may include not only the intimate partner relationships of
spousal, live-in partners and dating relationships, also familial, elder
and child abuse may be present in a violent home. Abuse generally falls
into one or more of the following categories: physical battering,
sexual assault and emotional or psychological abuse, and generally
escalates over a period of time."</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
How do you begin to stop domestic violence?</h3>
<br />
It
would appear that the very first step in bringing domestic violence to
an end would be for all states in the United States to understand just
what domestic violence is and adopt a standard definition. State laws
and the national agency against domestic violence don't even agree on
the definition.<br />
Once they agree on a "common" definition, then
they can move forward in changing the laws and providing the necessary
training to those who are responsible for enforcing them.<br />
<br />
Here's a perfect example of an actual state law that needs to be changed (the state isn't important here):<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"(A)
After an adult, who falls into one of the categories set forth in
Section 36-3-601(9)(A) through (F), has been arrested for assault
pursuant to 39-13-101, or aggravated assault pursuant to 39-13-102
against a victim as defined in this part, the arresting officer shall
inform the victim that the person arrested may be eligible to post bond
for the offense and be released until the date of the trial for the
offense."</blockquote>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
To stop domestic violence, it must be seen from the victim's perspective</h3>
<br />
Let's
take a hypothetical situation involving a woman who has just
experienced a violent abusive episode with her partner. Due to her
partner's controlling behavior, she has been totally isolated from her
friends and she has no family in the immediate area.<br />
<br />
You can assume she has children but, for this example, it really doesn't matter. She
somehow manages to get to a phone and calls the police or a neighbor
calls the police. The police arrive and arrest her partner and before
the officer leaves, he tells her - "the person who just assaulted you
may be eligible to post bond for the offense and be released until the
date of trial for the offense."<br />
<br />
How long does it take to post
bond? One hour? Two hours? So, hypothetically, this person who has just
abused his partner could be back home within two hours.<br />
<br />
Who do you
think this abuser is most upset with: the police? his partner? Do you
think that, just possibly, being arrested and hauled to jail would be
used as justification for the abuser to commit more violent acts against
his partner?<br />
<br />
The victim of this domestic violence calls the local
domestic violence shelter and the people tell her - "We're sorry, but
we have no vacancy." She has no friends, no family and the shelter won't
let her in, where does she go? Keep in mind she has about two hours to
get out.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
To stop domestic violence, it needs to be made easier for victims to leave</h3>
<br />
According to <a href="http://www.nationalhomeless.org/publications/facts/domestic.html" target="_blank"><b>national domestic violence statistics</b></a>, 50 percent of the women with children who are homeless and on the streets are victims of domestic violence.<br />
<br />
When
a woman makes the decision to leave her home, there is more to leaving
than just getting in the car or have someone pick her up. She has to get
together valuable papers like birth certificates, social security
cards, lease agreements, home deeds, school records and medical records.
She has to get clothes for herself and her children. She has to get
together toys for the children. She has to get her medications together
and the house keys and car keys.<br />
<br />
Would it not be just an act
of common decency to allow a domestic violence victim at least 24 hours
to get herself together and get out? Do you think that just knowing that
an abuser will be released in just a matter of a few hours deters
domestic violence victims from calling the police in the first place?<br />
<br />
Building
more shelters is not the answer to ending domestic violence. Before
anyone will bring any type of drastic reduction in domestic violence
incidents, it's vital to know the answers to two very critical
questions:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>What causes a person to intentionally want to hurt or even murder someone who they are supposed to love?</b></li>
<li><b>Why does a woman stay or return to a place where she has been physically, sexually or emotionally abused?</b></li>
</ul>
Unfortunately,
many people view domestic violence as a private family matter - to be
solved between a man and a woman. Well, nothing could be further from
the truth about domestic violence. When the lives of women and children
are on the line in your own communities, domestic violence becomes your
problem.<br />
<br />
If you would like to learn more about domestic violence and how you can help stop it, call your <a href="http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/statedomestic.htm" target="_blank">state coalition against domestic violence</a> today.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-38721059882827843732014-05-17T11:05:00.002-05:002014-09-20T10:12:06.324-05:00Domestic Violence Prevention Requires Awareness<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs1PbuPg0ZsppQAqNZxJdpEO3rGAxf4imQWQFkkz7Q_VPD-jAGCIzEKtUk5LWdmd5ND2-kh0FJcYV-4wuwoNKI0B6tiFibSmk7wpKte0MQi6Wa1jSt5BEBp7CvNLougDxwPRDQnseXs99v/s1600/stop-violence-against-women.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence is all about power and control" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs1PbuPg0ZsppQAqNZxJdpEO3rGAxf4imQWQFkkz7Q_VPD-jAGCIzEKtUk5LWdmd5ND2-kh0FJcYV-4wuwoNKI0B6tiFibSmk7wpKte0MQi6Wa1jSt5BEBp7CvNLougDxwPRDQnseXs99v/s1600/stop-violence-against-women.gif" height="229" title="To stop domestic violence we must understand it" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stop Violence Against Women</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Domestic violence prevention and awareness should be a priority for
all states, communities and every citizen. Domestic violence is at
epidemic levels in the United States, with surveys from the U. S. and
Canada indicating that domestic violence occurs in 28% of all marriages.
The experts feel this estimate is too low, since most domestic violence
incidents are not reported.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
So, what is domestic violence?</h3>
Domestic
violence is the power and control of one partner over another in a
dating, marital or live-in relationship. Domestic violence doesn't
always begin in physical violence but may initially present itself in a
more subtle pattern of coercive behavior to intimidate and destroy the
self-esteem of another partner.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Who are the victims of domestic violence?</h3>
According
to the U. S. Department of Justice, 95% of domestic violence victims in
America are women, although men may also be victims.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
How often does domestic violence occur?</h3>
According
to a National Violence Against Women Survey, 22% of women are
physically assaulted by a partner or date during their lifetime and
nearly 5.3 million partner victimizations occur each year among U. S.
women ages 18 and older, resulting in 2 million injuries and 1,300
deaths.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Who are the abusers?</h3>
Men who abuse their partners
fall into no specific categories and come from all backgrounds, races,
religions and walks of life. They be unemployed or highly paid
professionals. The abusers may be good providers, upstanding members of
their community, and respected members of their church congregation.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
What are the types of domestic violence?</h3>
<ul>
<li><b>Physical Assault</b></li>
</ul>
Physical
violence can include pushing, hitting, kicking or restraining and may
occur frequently or infrequently. In most cases, the physical violence
will escalate in severity and frequency over time. The end result of
many domestic violence relationships is murder.<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Sexual Assault</b></li>
</ul>
Sexual violence occurs when one partner forces sexual acts that are unwanted or declined by the other partner.<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Psychological Assault</b></li>
</ul>
The
emotional and psychological violence is intended to place the victim
under the total domination and control of the abuser. This type of
domestic violence may include isolation from friends and family, total
financial dependence, control over where a partner can go and what she
can do, threats and intimidation.<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Attacks Against Property and Pets</b></li>
</ul>
The
violence toward the victim is transferred to the destruction of
household objects or treasured possessions of the victim. In some cases
the abuser has abused or killed the family pet.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Misunderstandings of domestic violence</h3>
Domestic violence is not a marital conflict, a lover's quarrel or a private family matter.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Domestic violence in the workplace</h3>
Domestic
violence affects the workplace when an abuser harasses an employee who
is on the job, when a victim is absent because of injuries or less
productive due to stress, or when violence occurs at the worksite.
According to the Family Prevention Fund, homicide is the leading cause
of death for women in the workplace.<br />
<br />
Now that we are more aware of
just what domestic violence is and how it affects all of us, what can
we do to help prevent domestic violence and bring it under control?<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
What can every citizen do?</h3>
1. Speak out against domestic violence and refuse to accept violence in your own life.<br />
2. Learn the facts about domestic violence.<br />
3. Listen to a victim of domestic violence and never be judgmental.<br />
4. Call the police if you witness a domestic violence incident.<br />
5. Make domestic violence a part of your community watch program.<br />
6. Ask your pastor to hold a special service for domestic violence victims and survivors.<br />
7. Encourage your local Parent Teacher's Organization to sponsor a presentation on domestic violence.<br />
8. Put domestic violence on the agenda of your business or professional organization.<br />
9. Write your state senators and let them know your feelings about domestic violence.<br />
10.
Support your local domestic violence programs and hold fund raising
activities to support the fight against domestic violence.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Help for victims of domestic violence</h3>
First
of all, you must understand the violence is not your fault even though
you probably have been told that many times. If you desire help in a
violent relationship it is available and you do not have to continue to
live in your current environment.<br />
<br />
There is a National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence and every state has its own coalition, most of whom
have a 24-hour hotline for you to call for assistance. If there isn't a
domestic violence safe house in your community, there is one very near
by. If you will call one of the coalitions, I'm sure they can direct you
to the right place.<br />
<br />
If you will "Google" - "coalition against domestic
violence XX" (substitute your state for the XX), you will find your
state's coalition. You must understand that no matter how hard you try,
you are not going to change your partner's violent behavior and you can
get some protection from him by calling your local police or sheriff's
office first. Also, your friends and family do care, but they won't know
you need help until you ask them.<br />
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Domestic violence prevention</h3>
We
can all make a difference in the lives of some 4 million women who
suffer the devastating affects of domestic violence each year in the
United States by simply getting involved. If our combined efforts save
only one life, would that have not been worth it?<br />
<br />
Laws must be
established to address domestic violence "specifically" and not just
thrown in with all the other "assault" statutes. These laws must mandate
strict punishment for domestic violence convictions. When an Order of
Protection is violated there must be more punishment than a slap on the
hand. The place for any man who abuses his partner is behind bars,
period.<br />
<br />
Until we stand up in one clear voice and tell our local,
state and federal lawmakers that domestic violence will no longer be
tolerated in a free society, it will continue and women will still be
abused and murdered. We must stop accepting alcohol, stress, or drugs as
justification for any man to commit violent acts against his partner.<br />
<br />
No
woman deserves to be physically, sexually or emotionally abused in her
own home and domestic violence, like any other epidemic, must have
priority and we must totally understand that it is the abusive partner
who is solely responsible for violent behavior. Domestic violence hurts
all of us and it must be brought under control.
<br />
<br />
=================================================================<br />
If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--KenKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6664945694935369470.post-57478204185963231862014-05-17T10:46:00.001-05:002017-01-27T13:42:54.896-06:00Domestic Violence: Separating Myths From The Truth<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGtgI-uQ18BMfL8yqlgKCdGrZsLcw_3S66G0iTY1C8dj0FXTZIhBMl1ETT1PXBDrJdC5mXp-8j4ne-ldZpowOlxmpwNIu8nNVg93adaU7aCYABnGylc2A98TieIAW_gF0Z887_GsQAsjuG/s1600/love-shouldnt-hurt-ribbon.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Domestic violence is learned behavior" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGtgI-uQ18BMfL8yqlgKCdGrZsLcw_3S66G0iTY1C8dj0FXTZIhBMl1ETT1PXBDrJdC5mXp-8j4ne-ldZpowOlxmpwNIu8nNVg93adaU7aCYABnGylc2A98TieIAW_gF0Z887_GsQAsjuG/s1600/love-shouldnt-hurt-ribbon.gif" title="Stop domestic violence"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We Must Stop Domestic Violence</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Our understanding of domestic violence can only be complicated by the many myths surrounding these tragic events. The <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/" target="_blank"><b>National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</b></a> outlines some of the domestic violence myths and it is important to understand the truth.<br />
<br />
<b>Myth:</b> Domestic violence only occurs in poor, uneducated and minority families.<br />
<br />
<b>Truth:</b> Studies conducted by the <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"></a><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html" target="_blank"><b>Centers for Disease Control and Prevention</b></a>,
National Institute of Justice and the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence have found that domestic violence occurs in all
social, economic, religious and cultural groups.<br />
Middle-class
women often face more barriers in getting public assistance when they
decide to leave an abusive relationship because of their family's above
poverty line financial status.<br />
<br />
<b>Myth:</b> Drugs and alcohol are the main causes of domestic violence.<br />
<br />
<b>Truth:</b>
Even though abusers may use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for their
violence and as a means to place the responsibility for their actions
elsewhere, neither drugs nor alcohol are the root cause of domestic
violence. <br />
Simply stopping the abuser's drinking will not stop the
violence. Drinking and violence are two separate problems and must be
addressed independently. People<span style="font-size: 12px;"> must understand that not all alcoholics are batterers, just as not all abusers are alcoholics.</span><br />
<br />
<b>Myth:</b> Battered women provoke the abuse and like it or they would just leave.<br />
<br />
<b>Truth:</b>
Certainly no one could believe that any woman wants to be beaten, raped
or murdered. Studies have shown that the danger to a domestic violence
victim increases by 70 percent when she tries to leave. The violence
tends to escalate and the abuser uses his control tactics in an attempt
to totally isolate his victim.<br />
<br />
The victim may be dependent on the
abuser for financial support and may feel that she has no place to go.
The victim may have called the police only to have her abuser arrested
and then released to come back and attack her again. Some women simply
feel trapped and see their current circumstances as their destiny.<br />
<br />
What
may appear to be bizarre behaviors are often survival strategies women
use to keep themselves safe. It is important to understand the reasons why some women tolerate domestic violence.<br />
<br />
<b>Myth:</b> Domestic violence is an isolated occurrence.<br />
<br />
<b>Truth:</b> According to an Allstate Foundation National Poll conducted in 2004, 74 percent of respondents personally
knew someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. On
average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or
boyfriends every day. <br />
The <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet%28National%29.pdf" target="_blank"><b>Centers for Disease Control (CDC)</b></a>
reports there are 16,800 homicides due to intimate partner violence
each year. Almost one third of female homicide victims that are reported
in police records are killed by an intimate partner.<br />
<br />
Men can also be victims of domestic violence, but women make up about 97 percent of domestic violence survivors.<br />
<br />
Chances are that if you belong to a civic or professional organization, a
church or simply go to work every day, there is someone around you who
is currently experiencing or has experienced a violent relationship. It
is important to understand some of the <b>things you can do when domestic violence affects a friend or loved one</b>.<br />
<br />
Domestic violence affects every aspect of daily living and it is the duty of
every member of a free society to learn the truth and dispel all the
myths surrounding the domestic violence problem.
<br />
<br />
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If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/kbradford">LinkedIn</a> and <a href="https://plus.google.com/113180245177551047375">Google+</a>.--Ken
Kenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14503135663167903492noreply@blogger.com