Domestic Violence/Breast Cancer Awareness Both Need Attention

October is Domestic Violence & Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Have you ever watched a football game and thought there was something wrong with your HD TV, when everything from the players' shoes to the cheerleaders' uniforms turned pink?

The NFL has agreed to work with the American Cancer Society during the month of October to support breast cancer awareness and education. It's sad that the NFL never wears a "purple" ribbon to support domestic violence awareness, because the month of October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Before you get so excited about what the NFL is doing to end breast cancer, please read "The NFL's Pink October Does Not Raise Money for Cancer Research" by Smriti Sinha. Matt Levin makes the NFL's support of breast cancer awareness a little clearer in his article in the Houston Chronicle, where he states:

"The issue with football’s self-congratulatory awareness month goes beyond pink pom-poms, pink penalty flags and pink cleats. Hardly any of the money raised during this month even reaches the American Cancer Society. But the criticism – many from breast cancer survivors – hasn't phased the NFL or many of its partners. "

After looking at some of the facts, it's hard to understand why large corporations like the NFL choose to support breast cancer awareness and refuse to even talk about domestic violence - an epidemic that has devastating effects on twice as many women.

Breast cancer statistics

According to the non-profit organization breastcancer. org -

"About 1 in 8 U.S. women (about 12%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime."

Statistics from the Centers for DiseaseControl (CDC) for 2012 indicate that 41,150 women and 405 men in the United States died from breast cancer.

Domestic violence statistics

According to the National CoalitionAgainst Domestic Violence -

"1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime."

Alanna Vagianos, in her recent article for the Huffington Post, made an alarming comparison between the deaths in the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and the number of deaths from domestic violence. Here's what she reported:

"The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That's nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war."

She went on to report that there are three women murdered each day in the United States by a current or former male partner.

Economic impact of breast cancer

An article by Judy Silverman, Erika Edwards and Stacey Naggiar at NBC News states:

"Two years after they were diagnosed, 30 percent of the women who got chemo were unemployed, compared to 14 percent of the women who did not. "

The study "Working With Cancer" conducted by the United Kingdom, United States, and Australia, states that between 10% and 38% of employees do not return to work following treatment for cancer.  This study went on to conclude that "Employees who are not offered alternative working arrangements during and following cancer treatment may be up to 15 times more likely to experience significant financial difficulties."

Economic impact of domestic violence

According to Employers Against DomesticViolence, domestic violence affects productivity and increases absenteeism. Not only do the abuse victims miss work, but the batterers may also be less productive due to incarceration or legal proceedings resulting from domestic violence.

According to an article by Dr. Robert Pearl for Forbes, 

"Each year, an estimated 8 million days of paid work is lost in the U.S. because of domestic violence."

 Dr. Peal goes on to say that domestic violence costs $5.8 billion in higher medical costs and $2.5 billion in lost productivity each year in the U. S.

Domestic violence needs more attention

 

Yes, we certainly want to find a cure for breast cancer. When large corporations like the NFL wear pink, there could be no better campaign for public awareness and education, but someone has to fund research to finally destroy breast cancer. Who will provide the money for adequate research?

Ann Friedman put it best in her article for NY Magazine -

"It’s not outrageous to think that, with a little bit of corporate backing, the color purple could become a shorthand for “domestic violence is not okay” — and that such a campaign could make a massive difference in saving women’s lives. It is probably, however, a bit outrageous to think that such a campaign is possible in October. This month is already spoken for. "

When we choose to ignore the domestic violence problem, we are basically saying that it is just a personal problem and hopefully it will just go away. Well, it won't just go away! Does it make sense to you for us to ignore an epidemic that allows 1 out of 3 women to be beaten or emotionally abused in their own homes, while their children watch?

Will you wear purple for those women and children who live each day of their lives in fear? If so, please support domestic violence awareness and pass this on to someone you know. Thanks.

Violence Against Women Act

Domestic violence is against the law.

In 1994, U.S. Senator Joseph Biden sponsored legislation called the Violence Against Women Act, as part of the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994. The legislation passed with bipartisan support of 226 sponsors in the House and 68 in the Senate.

Here's what Senator Biden had to say a few years after passage of the Violence Against Women Act:

"I consider the Violence Against Women Act the single most significant legislation that I've crafted during my 35-year tenure in the Senate. Indeed, the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 was the beginning of a historic commitment to women and children victimized by domestic violence and sexual assault. Our nation has been rewarded for this commitment. Since the Act's passage in 1994, domestic violence has dropped by almost 50%, incidents of rape are down by 60%, and the number of women killed by an abusive husband or boyfriend is down by 22%. Today, more than half of all rape victims are stepping forward to report the crime. And since we passed the Act in 1994 over a million women have found justice in our courtrooms and obtained domestic violence protective orders."

Even with Senator Biden's comments about more domestic violence victims "stepping forward", according to national statistics, domestic violence still remains the most under reported crime.

Domestic Violence Prevention Requires Awareness

Stop Violence Against Women

Domestic violence prevention and awareness should be a priority for all states, communities and every citizen. Domestic violence is at epidemic levels in the United States, with surveys from the U. S. and Canada indicating that domestic violence occurs in 28% of all marriages. The experts feel this estimate is too low, since most domestic violence incidents are not reported.

 

So, what is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is the power and control of one partner over another in a dating, marital or live-in relationship. Domestic violence doesn't always begin in physical violence but may initially present itself in a more subtle pattern of coercive behavior to intimidate and destroy the self-esteem of another partner.

 

Who are the victims of domestic violence?

According to the U. S. Department of Justice, 95% of domestic violence victims in America are women, although men may also be victims.

 

How often does domestic violence occur?

According to a National Violence Against Women Survey, 22% of women are physically assaulted by a partner or date during their lifetime and nearly 5.3 million partner victimizations occur each year among U. S. women ages 18 and older, resulting in 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths.

 

Who are the abusers?

Men who abuse their partners fall into no specific categories and come from all backgrounds, races, religions and walks of life. They be unemployed or highly paid professionals. The abusers may be good providers, upstanding members of their community, and respected members of their church congregation.

 

What are the types of domestic violence?

• Physical Assault

Physical violence can include pushing, hitting, kicking or restraining and may occur frequently or infrequently. In most cases, the physical violence will escalate in severity and frequency over time. The end result of many domestic violence relationships is murder.

• Sexual Assault

Sexual violence occurs when one partner forces sexual acts that are unwanted or declined by the other partner.

• Psychological Assault

The emotional and psychological violence is intended to place the victim under the total domination and control of the abuser. This type of domestic violence may include isolation from friends and family, total financial dependence, control over where a partner can go and what she can do, threats and intimidation.

• Attacks Against Property and Pets

The violence toward the victim is transferred to the destruction of household objects or treasured possessions of the victim. In some cases the abuser has abused or killed the family pet.

 

Misunderstandings of domestic violence

Domestic violence is not a marital conflict, a lover's quarrel or a private family matter.

 

Domestic violence in the workplace

Domestic violence affects the workplace when an abuser harasses an employee who is on the job, when a victim is absent because of injuries or less productive due to stress, or when violence occurs at the worksite. According to the Family Prevention Fund, homicide is the leading cause of death for women in the workplace.

Now that we are more aware of just what domestic violence is and how it affects all of us, what can we do to help prevent domestic violence and bring it under control?

 

What can every citizen do?

1. Speak out against domestic violence and refuse to accept violence in your own life.
2. Learn the facts about domestic violence.
3. Listen to a victim of domestic violence and never be judgmental.
4. Call the police if you witness a domestic violence incident.
5. Make domestic violence a part of your community watch program.
6. Ask your pastor to hold a special service for domestic violence victims and survivors.
7. Encourage your local Parent Teacher's Organization to sponsor a presentation on domestic violence.
8. Put domestic violence on the agenda of your business or professional organization.
9. Write your state senators and let them know your feelings about domestic violence.
10. Support your local domestic violence programs and hold fund raising activities to support the fight against domestic violence.

 

Help for victims of domestic violence

First of all, you must understand the violence is not your fault even though you probably have been told that many times. If you desire help in a violent relationship it is available and you do not have to continue to live in your current environment.

There is a National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and every state has its own coalition, most of whom have a 24-hour hotline for you to call for assistance. If there isn't a domestic violence safe house in your community, there is one very near by. If you will call one of the coalitions, I'm sure they can direct you to the right place.

If you will "Google" - "coalition against domestic violence XX" (substitute your state for the XX), you will find your state's coalition. You must understand that no matter how hard you try, you are not going to change your partner's violent behavior and you can get some protection from him by calling your local police or sheriff's office first. Also, your friends and family do care, but they won't know you need help until you ask them.

 

Domestic violence prevention

We can all make a difference in the lives of some 4 million women who suffer the devastating affects of domestic violence each year in the United States by simply getting involved. If our combined efforts save only one life, would that have not been worth it?

Laws must be established to address domestic violence "specifically" and not just thrown in with all the other "assault" statutes. These laws must mandate strict punishment for domestic violence convictions. When an Order of Protection is violated there must be more punishment than a slap on the hand. The place for any man who abuses his partner is behind bars, period.

Until we stand up in one clear voice and tell our local, state and federal lawmakers that domestic violence will no longer be tolerated in a free society, it will continue and women will still be abused and murdered. We must stop accepting alcohol, stress, or drugs as justification for any man to commit violent acts against his partner.

No woman deserves to be physically, sexually or emotionally abused in her own home and domestic violence, like any other epidemic, must have priority and we must totally understand that it is the abusive partner who is solely responsible for violent behavior. Domestic violence hurts all of us and it must be brought under control.

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If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on LinkedIn and Google+.--Ken

Domestic Violence: Separating Myths From The Truth

We Must Stop Domestic Violence

Our understanding of domestic violence can only be complicated by the many myths surrounding these tragic events. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence outlines some of the domestic violence myths and it is important to understand the truth.

Myth: Domestic violence only occurs in poor, uneducated and minority families.

Truth: Studies conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Institute of Justice and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence have found that domestic violence occurs in all social, economic, religious and cultural groups.
Middle-class women often face more barriers in getting public assistance when they decide to leave an abusive relationship because of their family's above poverty line financial status.

Myth: Drugs and alcohol are the main causes of domestic violence.

Truth: Even though abusers may use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for their violence and as a means to place the responsibility for their actions elsewhere, neither drugs nor alcohol are the root cause of domestic violence.
Simply stopping the abuser's drinking will not stop the violence. Drinking and violence are two separate problems and must be addressed independently. People must understand that not all alcoholics are batterers, just as not all abusers are alcoholics.

Myth: Battered women provoke the abuse and like it or they would just leave.

Truth: Certainly no one could believe that any woman wants to be beaten, raped or murdered. Studies have shown that the danger to a domestic violence victim increases by 70 percent when she tries to leave. The violence tends to escalate and the abuser uses his control tactics in an attempt to totally isolate his victim.

The victim may be dependent on the abuser for financial support and may feel that she has no place to go. The victim may have called the police only to have her abuser arrested and then released to come back and attack her again. Some women simply feel trapped and see their current circumstances as their destiny.

What may appear to be bizarre behaviors are often survival strategies women use to keep themselves safe. It is important to understand the reasons why some women tolerate domestic violence.

Myth: Domestic violence is an isolated occurrence.

Truth: According to an Allstate Foundation National Poll conducted in 2004, 74 percent of respondents personally knew someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports there are 16,800 homicides due to intimate partner violence each year. Almost one third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.

Men can also be victims of domestic violence, but women make up about 97 percent of domestic violence survivors.

Chances are that if you belong to a civic or professional organization, a church or simply go to work every day, there is someone around you who is currently experiencing or has experienced a violent relationship. It is important to understand some of the things you can do when domestic violence affects a friend or loved one.

Domestic violence affects every aspect of daily living and it is the duty of every member of a free society to learn the truth and dispel all the myths surrounding the domestic violence problem.

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If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on LinkedIn and Google+.--Ken