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| Support Domestic Violence Awareness |
Domestic violence is at epidemic levels across these United States
and even though both men and women suffer the effects of abusive,
sometimes violent relationships, this article is designed to address
domestic violence against women. The statistics show that the majority
of domestic violence victims are women and the majority of those who are
killed by a partner are women.
To stop domestic violence, you must understand just what it is
There
seem to be hundreds or even thousands of organizations who proclaim
that their mission is to stop domestic violence. So, why aren't they
stopping domestic violence? Could it possibly be that people don't
really understand just what it is?
A review of state laws
addressing domestic violence indicates they differ, sometimes
drastically, in how they actually "define" domestic violence. For
example, the
Alabama Code addresses domestic violence as simply "abuse", in
New Mexico
it's "domestic abuse" and in other states domestic violence is
mentioned in with all the other "assault" statutes. Most state laws
mention only the physical abuse of domestic violence, with seemingly
little or no concern for the emotional or psychological abuse that goes
along with a violent or abusive relationship.
Domestic violence according to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence
The
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence sees the problem like this:
"Domestic
violence may include not only the intimate partner relationships of
spousal, live-in partners and dating relationships, also familial, elder
and child abuse may be present in a violent home. Abuse generally falls
into one or more of the following categories: physical battering,
sexual assault and emotional or psychological abuse, and generally
escalates over a period of time."
How do you begin to stop domestic violence?
It
would appear that the very first step in bringing domestic violence to
an end would be for all states in the United States to understand just
what domestic violence is and adopt a standard definition. State laws
and the national agency against domestic violence don't even agree on
the definition.
Once they agree on a "common" definition, then
they can move forward in changing the laws and providing the necessary
training to those who are responsible for enforcing them.
Here's a perfect example of an actual state law that needs to be changed (the state isn't important here):
"(A)
After an adult, who falls into one of the categories set forth in
Section 36-3-601(9)(A) through (F), has been arrested for assault
pursuant to 39-13-101, or aggravated assault pursuant to 39-13-102
against a victim as defined in this part, the arresting officer shall
inform the victim that the person arrested may be eligible to post bond
for the offense and be released until the date of the trial for the
offense."
To stop domestic violence, it must be seen from the victim's perspective
Let's
take a hypothetical situation involving a woman who has just
experienced a violent abusive episode with her partner. Due to her
partner's controlling behavior, she has been totally isolated from her
friends and she has no family in the immediate area.
You can assume she has children but, for this example, it really doesn't matter. She
somehow manages to get to a phone and calls the police or a neighbor
calls the police. The police arrive and arrest her partner and before
the officer leaves, he tells her - "the person who just assaulted you
may be eligible to post bond for the offense and be released until the
date of trial for the offense."
How long does it take to post
bond? One hour? Two hours? So, hypothetically, this person who has just
abused his partner could be back home within two hours.
Who do you
think this abuser is most upset with: the police? his partner? Do you
think that, just possibly, being arrested and hauled to jail would be
used as justification for the abuser to commit more violent acts against
his partner?
The victim of this domestic violence calls the local
domestic violence shelter and the people tell her - "We're sorry, but
we have no vacancy." She has no friends, no family and the shelter won't
let her in, where does she go? Keep in mind she has about two hours to
get out.
To stop domestic violence, it needs to be made easier for victims to leave
According to
national domestic violence statistics, 50 percent of the women with children who are homeless and on the streets are victims of domestic violence.
When
a woman makes the decision to leave her home, there is more to leaving
than just getting in the car or have someone pick her up. She has to get
together valuable papers like birth certificates, social security
cards, lease agreements, home deeds, school records and medical records.
She has to get clothes for herself and her children. She has to get
together toys for the children. She has to get her medications together
and the house keys and car keys.
Would it not be just an act
of common decency to allow a domestic violence victim at least 24 hours
to get herself together and get out? Do you think that just knowing that
an abuser will be released in just a matter of a few hours deters
domestic violence victims from calling the police in the first place?
Building
more shelters is not the answer to ending domestic violence. Before
anyone will bring any type of drastic reduction in domestic violence
incidents, it's vital to know the answers to two very critical
questions:
- What causes a person to intentionally want to hurt or even murder someone who they are supposed to love?
- Why does a woman stay or return to a place where she has been physically, sexually or emotionally abused?
Unfortunately,
many people view domestic violence as a private family matter - to be
solved between a man and a woman. Well, nothing could be further from
the truth about domestic violence. When the lives of women and children
are on the line in your own communities, domestic violence becomes your
problem.
If you would like to learn more about domestic violence and how you can help stop it, call your
state coalition against domestic violence today.
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If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on
LinkedIn and
Google+.--Ken
