Domestic Violence: Understanding Warning Signs

Domestic violence awareness needs your support.

Abusive relationships certainly don't begin that way; otherwise the relationship probably wouldn't begin in the first place. Many relationships, whether marriage or live-in relationships, often begin with both partners deeply in love with one another and little things do seem to go unnoticed. It is these "little things" that could possibly be telltale signs of bad things to come. It is important to understand domestic abuse and recognize some of the warning signs.

 

The majority of domestic abuse is toward women

The majority of abusive relationships in this country involve men committing abusive acts toward women.  According to the U. S. Department of Justice, 95% of all domestic violence is directed toward women.  Every year over 4 million women in these United States feel they have made a good choice in selecting a partner, but every year they are all proved wrong.

 

Defining domestic violence or abuse

The Department of Justice provides the following definition of domestic violence:

"We define domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone."

Domestic violence is not just isolated incidences that occur in poverty level homes. According to statistics all across the U. S., domestic violence is at epidemic levels. For example: In Colorado, there were 14,123 domestic violence criminal cases filed in 2006. 75% of Alaskans have experienced or know someone who has experienced domestic violence or sexual assault. A total of 22,881 domestic violence incidents were reported in Nevada in 2001. Domestic violence is a major problem in every single state.

 

Warning signs of abusive and violent relationships

The website newhopeforwomen provides a list of behaviors that could indicate a potentially abusive partner. It is important to understand that not every person who exhibits these traits is a potentially violent person. These behaviors include:

• Controlling behavior - Many abusers want total control of all finances to prevent the victim from coming and going freely. They will make the victim ask for money and only give enough money for things like groceries.
• Jealousy - Many abusers will question the victim about where she's been or whom she's talked to. They will oftentimes accuse the victim of flirting or become jealous of the time spent with others. The abuser may make frequent calls to the victim, drop by unexpectedly, check the mileage on the car, or refuse to let the victim work.
• Isolation - Abusers don't want victims to have outside support or resources. They will talk badly about the victims friends and family to hopefully sever all ties and totally isolate the victim.
• Verbal abuse - Abusers want to totally destroy a victim's self esteem. The will say things that are intended to be cruel and degrading.
• Breaking personal things - Abusers often punish their victims or attempt to terrorize them into submission by destroying the victim's personal property.
• Cruelty to animals or children - Many abusers are brutal to animals and are totally insensitive to their pain. They may also punish or tease children for normal children activities.

Oftentimes, potential abuse victims recognize that their partners are withdrawn and shy. They don't like it when the other partner wants to socialize with other people. There are often temper outbreaks over very simple things. Most people just seem to be too busy to give much notice to these "simple things" and go about in their efforts to build a relationship.

 

Domestic abuse victims must reach out to someone

Recognizing the warning signs of an abusive relationship is one thing, but having the courage to do something about it is yet another. Women who feel they are in an abusive relationship should reach out to their friends and family.

Abuse victims should never feel ashamed and must understand that there are people who care about them. Every state has a State Coalition Against Domestic Violence and more than likely, there is a domestic violence help center in most communities.

Domestic violence is learned behavior on the part of the abuser and no matter how hard victims try, they can't change that behavior. Victims must recognize the warning signs of domestic abuse and take action. No woman deserves to be physically, sexually or emotionally abused, especially in her own home while her children watch.

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If you are a business owner and haven't adopted any particular cause or campaign, why not get involved in promoting domestic violence awareness? When businesses work together, great things can happen. The only way we can help stop domestic violence is to talk about it. There is someone in your community who is living in a violent relationship. Please join me on LinkedIn and Google+.--Ken